Friday, February 27, 2009

How amazingly cool?

Dave has moulted.

He looks massive now. Utterly massive, compared to what he was, and his empty shell is just sitting there. He may well eat it in the next few days.

I'll put pictures up later.

WOW then bed for me I think!

And we're back to a 10

The neurofen has worked!

I'm back to a 10 and not feeling so sick. I can't move my arm, but that's fine lol, it's balanced on the laptop!

And the chinese is on the way. Well. It is payday!

Beer, crisps and nurophen

Ok, after all my talk of holistic stuff and wanting to get homeopathic stuff, we didn't get into town, so I'm having a beer, eating smoky bacon crisps, and I've taken 2 neurophen. It's working.

By the end of today I was stiff in both shoulders, although my neck was fine, and my stomach had blown. It always does when I am in pain type pain, as at a certain level of pain I start to feel sick. A certain more level and I will be sick. It's fine, it's just the way my body is. *shrug* It's rare that I get to the being sick stage - although when I had the AC I was sick every 30 minutes, all the way through the 20 hours. I don't do pain like that. Aches I can do. Aching is easy. Actual pain, and bleugh. It's not pretty. But the beauty of knowing what your body is likely to do, is that I know where I need to be, so if the pain gets worse I will just take a duvet and a good book into the bathroom, tie my hair back, and wait. It's all good. In a sick kind of way.

Right now my stomach is too big for my size 14 fat joggers. It'll go, because it's just a reaction to the pain, but it is HUGE! I look pregnant! (I'm not though!)

I also managed to *really* annoy my children today. Every now and again I have to remind my children who is boss. And it's me. They are the pack, I am the Alpha female. Pretty much, I let them sort out their own pack order, ensuring that noone gets hurt, physically or mentally on the way. I love them, care for them, guide them and nurture them, but at the end of the day, I am not going to be there at the weekends, at the holidays, at the end of the year, so they have to be able to stand without me. I will always have their backs, because that's my job - but I also have their best interests at heart and that means that I have to teach them right from wrong. That's as much my job as teaching them that 2+2=4. So today, after 2 days of warning about their noise levels, their work attitudes, and their manners, they got back to the classroom after lunch to find that I had changed their desks to straight lines, right across the classroom, no fussing, no talking, and if you get to me any more I will sit you boy/girl/boy/girl, which, at 7/8/9 years old is the biggest threat I can give them lol! They settled in. They read, in silence through their reading session. They went to the library, lining up with the minimum of noise, even though I hadn't reminded them. They were polite and well mannered in the library, and came back, got on with handwriting and then went into assembly with no fuss and by this point they knew I wasn't cross, just being firm, and that no one was in major trouble. We shared a few jokes and did some Show and Tell and life was good.

The best way to judge their mood though, is with the "Good afternoon my children."

Today was "Good afternoon Queen C********, Good afternoon Prince H********, Good afternoon Royal Subjects."

If they leave with a joke like that, then they understand, and it's all good. If it had been Miss C, Mr H, children, then we'd have had to have a chat and sort a few things out.

They are good children, gorgeous people in the making. I'm lucky to have them. All 31 of them.

A not so good night

I would hesitate to say a bad night - there are mothers out there with new babies who had far worse ones than me - but by my standards, it was a bad night. I sleep on the side that has the problem, so I had to sleep on my back, which was fine, it didn't hurt, right up to the point where I kept trying to roll over onto the bad side. In the end, R kind of pinned me down with his leg to stop me doing it. Several benefits there ;-) Necessity ended up being the mother of invention and I slept much better after that!

I feel there is a long day ahead. Loooooooooooooong day. But with plenty of work to do. The highlight of today will be the phonecall to BG tonight, which didn't happen on Wednesday, although we phoned there 3 or 4 times. Times like that I have to work hard to remember that the She-Ex is indeed a nice person. And she is, a very nice person. I have always been quite fond of her, very fond of the BG, and I do wish it could all have worked out another way. I have no bad feelings towards her though, which is nice for me! I don't think it's nice for her, but it's certainly easier for me. We were quite friendly on the net for a while, which was fine and quite enjoyable, but every now and again she gets ansty and swears and then I just don't like talking to that person in her, so I don't. TBH, she is the way she is, I am the way I am, and I don't have to make room in my life for the person that she turns into. I like the other person in her a lot. But there we go. I stopped doing anything for her a while ago, and so if it means the child support is late, it's late. She has a really good job now, so doesn't really need it, and after all the times when I busted a gut to get it done and get it to her when she did need it with barely a thankyou, I thought "Sod it!" It gets done when R has chance to do it now. I still do the other blog for the BG, and one day she'll sit with us and see it all I hope and then she'll know that we never forgot her, never walked away, never just ignored her, and always, always kept her informed and loved her. I sent her the pictures last night of Daddy getting his medal. I hope she sees them. And if not now, then later in her life, it'll be ok :-)

Sad now. I always end up thinking about the BG when I'm tired or down. It's not about the She-Ex, it's about the BG, same as we aren't about us, we're about the AC. I have a very good relationship with the AC's father, which I nurtured and grew because I didn't want this animosity for the AC to grow up in. I want him to come to conclusions about his father because that's what *he* thinks, not because that's what I want him to think. And so far, he wants to change his name when he is bigger to the same as R's surname! I'd never even thought about it, but obviously he has! Bless him. Having said that, currently he wants to be R. They are always together doing something and the look on the AC's face when R told him off the other day was heartbreaking. Obviously R finished up with positive statements, which rebuilt the AC's self esteem, and let him know he was still loved, but the AC threw his arms around him a bit later on, just randomly, just to be sure!

But I'll get over the sadness - I always do! A short trip around the blogosphere should do the trick! And then to school for a full day of teaching, and then we're done for the weekend, which will be mainly marking ready for parents evening. YAY! (not!)