Thursday, April 9, 2009

Maudlin Maundy Thursday

Yep.

Maudlin.

as in

maudlin

adjective self-pityingly or tearfully sentimental.

(Thanks OED!)


Tonight I am thankful for my son, but sad for those of my children who are not here.

Tonight I am thankful for my relationship, but sad that he is away.

Tonight I am thankful for BG being in my life, but sad that things are the way they are.

Tonight I am thankful for my job, but sad for the children I cannot help.


It's that kind of night.


So, to cheer myself up, I am going to cut out a ninepatch and stitch it, and try one with triangles as well!

(This may be a false attempt at cheering myself up if it does not go well lol!)

I will blog about the day when I'm feeling happier, later.

Thinking

This past Sunday I heard something I hadn't connected from my brain to my heart before--You can't get to Easter without passing through Good Friday.

I know.

It's early in the morning to be thinking.

But I am.

You can't get to Easter without going through Good Friday.

I didn't hear that last Sunday, I heard it during the week from someone on a mailing list I'm on.

You can't get to Easter without going through Good Friday.

It's exactly the kind of phrase I love, the kind of thing that sits in my brain.

There's a fabulous hymn, written many moons ago, called "O Love, that wilt not let me go." that sums up just how these things work out. I'd never thought of it in the same way until this moment.

(Indulge me!)

O Love That Will Not Let Me Go
Words: George Matheson Music: Christopher Miner
1. O Love that will not let me go,
I rest my weary soul in thee;
I give thee back the life I owe,
That in thine ocean depths its flow
May richer, fuller be.

2. O light that followest all my way,
I yeild my flickering torch to thee;
My heart restores its borrowed ray,
That in thy sunshine's blaze its day
May brighter, fairer be.

3. O Joy that seekest me through pain,
I cannot close my heart to thee;
I trace the rainbow through the rain,
And feel the promise is not vain,
That morn shall tearless be.

4. O Cross that liftest up my head,
I dare not ask to fly from thee;
I lay in dust life's glory dead,
And from the ground there blossoms red
Life that shall endless be.

It also has one of the most beautiful congregational hymn tunes I have ever had the privilege to sing. Nad it says the same thing as the original quote - until you've gone through the bad stuff you can't get to the good bit.

For me, that gives me hope that no matter how bad things get, there is a joy to come. That no matter how much it hurts, there is hope.

I am living that joy to come now though! I went through that bad stuff with He-Ex, he went through the bad stuff with She-Ex, and now we are living the good bit. There's not a lot of money about, work is a bit of a stress at times, and the Ex's remind us on a regular basis why they are Ex's, but this is the good bit.

There are more good bits to come. More of the pain that we have both been through will be erradicated, replaced good bits.

That's a good thing.