Saturday, January 31, 2009
1) Baking is the most fun a person can have with their clothes on. The burns are very painful if you do it without clothes on.
2) I've been a RPGer since I was 18. I love it, but I love LARPing more. And if I need to explain those things, you don't need to ask.
3) I am a terrible Christian, as I struggle to put God before all things. Thus, I consider myself a FROG.
4) In the house are (at the last count) Joe the cat, Lightening the hamster, Fudge the Guinea-pig, 3 fish tanks and Dave the crayfish. The fish don't have names.
5) I hate enclosed spaces.
6) My boss said he never thought of me as the Fanny Craddock type when I took cake etc in for my birthday. I would rather be thought of as the Nigella type. I fear this may never happen.
7) I studied for 2.5 years with the Jehovah's Witnesses on a Thursday evening. They're still wrong.
8) Icecream is my comfort food of choice, although when under real stress I won't eat. Each divorce I lost 3 stone in weight. If I get married again, and divorced again, I may evaporate.
9) My email name used to be "I am the cat who walks by myself," if you can complete the quotation you can have 5 points, 10 if you can name the author.
10) I believe ASD is genetics, not vaccines. But I think the genes we all have are deeply affected by our environment as we pass them on to the next generation. IF that made sense.
11) I don't believe Obama is the Anti-Christ, nor to I believe he is the epitomy of black people finally making it to the top. After all, he's half white.
12) I met R at a gaming club that my then husband had set up. Funny how things work out.
13) I hate my son going to see his father overnight. But he loves it, so I say it's ok.
14) I would like to have more boy children. I am afraid to have girl children. I think if I had had girl children first though, I would be afraid to have boy children. It's in His hands.
15) Most people think that I wouldn't watch Monty Pythons Life of Brian because I am a Christian. I wonder who they think invented laughter?
16) I like to tell stories to children.
17) I'm not good at diplomace or hierarchy. This is not a good combination of things not to be good at.
18) I'm 34 and feel 22.
19) I used to be a 36DD. THen I breastfed for 2.5 years.
20) The most amusing insults I ever had were being called "skanky earth mother b****" and "Mary F****** Poppins" I'm not good at being insulted. I laugh too easily!
21) I like my house. I'd like it better if it was finished.
22) I still have Christmas cards up. I like them.
23) I am a FLYbaby, just fluttering along.
24) I wanted to be an engineer.
25) I love my life.
I hope that's what it means, because that's what we've got. High nitrate, high nitrite, so I've done a 25% change, I'll do another one in a couple of days (makes a mental note to do this on Wednesday!) and that should start to even this out a bit.
The Mollies had high nitrate, but low nitrite and low ammonia, which is good. That tells me the nitrate is the issue, probably caused by the decaying fresh food which Dave has, for his own reasons, left behind.
And it's nearly 4pm, so R will be up soon. And then going. I hate him being on nights.
Maybe he didn't.
But the facts are that I have been sat here for over an hour looking at Hammond tribute clips.
I have to get on.
First three things to do then.
1) bread on. done
2) clear kitchen sides. doing
3) cup of tea. doing
2nd 3 things
1) cat box
2) washing to dry done
3) reload washing machine done
3rd 3 things
1) wipe bathroom
2) start dining room table
3) think about what to bake for tonight. doing
I think that will do.
unpacked organic delivery
put two chickens in to roast
cleared behind the fishtanks
watched ANTM (lol at myself!)
found marking SATs stuff
Updates in a while. 1230 update 1330 update
Friday, January 30, 2009
I just found polyvore.
I found it through earthenwitch who referenced Holistic Mama who led me to polyvore.
As a way to avoid SATs marking, and working on the house, and finding all the uniforms, it's excellent!
This was my first go, but I'm going to be trying more.
test - by sarahthesuburbanite on Polyvore.com
Thursday, January 29, 2009
The time has come to just sit down for a moment.
I've been looking forward to just sitting down, with my laptop on my lap, and just thinking and writing and letting it all out. And now I've come to do it, I have nothing to write. The world around me is quiet. The Adorable Child is asleep in bed, the Man is on guard duty, and I am sat here, looking at a pile of SATs papers, at the untidy house, at the washing that needs folding, and the food that needs removing from the cray tank and just not doing any of it.
I enjoy quiet times like this, and now I've got better at touch typing I like to just sit, with my eyes shut, and let the words out. And the word tonight is missing.
I miss my Man. I know he's back tomorrow morning, but there will be 7 nights without him.
I miss my son at the weekends when he goes to the He-Ex. I'm proud of the relationship I have forced his father to develop with him, when he just wanted to walk away from his son, but I hate the way I have to give my son up at the weekend. I know it's only one night. It's only Friday night, and it's nothing like the Man goes through with the One-Day-She-Ex, but he's my bundle, and I miss him.
I miss being pregnant. I haven't been officially pregnant for a long time, but tonight I really miss it. Weird.
I miss not missing Uni. For a long time there were things that I would have gone back to at the drop of a hat. Uni. The Morpheus Project. Steve. Pete. Rob. Steve. Always Steve. And I don't miss that any more. It's weird not missing that. It's weird that now is the right time to move on from all that, over 10 years after I left.
I guess what it means is that I am slowly coming used to the idea of being contented and happy with the way that life is. I love my life, and now I feel like it's ok to love it. Like the Man and I can relax into being ourselves. Neither of us were sure that this would not just be a rebound thing, but after 3 years and the things we've been through, it's clear that we are settling in together, we are so sure of ourselves now. Neither of us want to say it and bitch it, but it is good.
This blog (being written in word) is formatting itself.
In a weird way I'm missing the She-ex as well. We used to have long conversations on MSN about the Beautiful Girl and how she was doing and all that stuff. Now she isn't talking to me again, which is such a blessing, but also means we know next to nothing about the BG's life. If the Man asks, he gets a "wonderful. Awesome" (the word thing put the punctuation in – she doesn't!) and that tells us nothing.
I'm submitting this now, and making tea, and sorting the washing machine out.
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
I am a seriously lucky lady.
My beloved other half has bought me a crayfish for my birthday. He and my son got it all sorted out for me, because they knew that it was something I had been hankering after for a long time. His name is Dave, and he is gorgeous. Pictures to follow. And then he took me to PCWorld, and bought me a neat little laptop, which means that things are easier on the old legs. I ought to post about the MRI on Monday, but right now it makes me feel ill to think about it. And then today, which was my actually birthday, he took me out for tea at Frankie and Benny's, and now I am vegging on the sofa, doing not a fat lot. I'm blogging on the laptop though, which is a bonus. I want to do more blogging. Not because my life is that interesting, but because there are days when if I don't get what I want to say out, then I will burst.
When I'm on the big computer I will do the picture posts and so on, and hopefully remember that I can do thoughts from here.
Thinking is something I do a lot. Sometimes about the past, but more often now about the future, about that which is going to happen. About things which we are not preventing from happening. At things which we have been promised over and over again and yet they have not materialised. And how that's ok, how we are used to it and that which does not kill us will make us stronger.
I'm sounding a bit wishy-washy now. Time to stop and post this up. I'm trying writing in word and it putting it up automatically. We'll see how it goes.
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
For example today, there is Nothing from The Dark Side. The She-Ex went 9 different colours of ballistic the other week, for no real reason other than she always does this around her birthday because she feels old and that her life is slipping away blah blah blah. I tried hard to be friendly like we used to be, but nada, never mind, her choice. So we've emailed and blogged to the Beautiful Girl, as we always do.
The original blog I sent just after Christmas said about the presents, but the fact that we couldn't send BG pictures of what she sent (indeed, what she thought she had sent was very different to what actually turned up - she thought she'd sent hand made things.....) So the BG leaves a comment (one of the 4 she's left in 3 years) to say that she wants to know where the pictures of what she sent us are. So I emailed her and her mother to explain, again, what was happening, that we were searching for software that would allow us to convert the file formats into something she could watch, and that R was working on how to get single frame shots from the video and save them as pictures.
Cue rudeness, sillyness, and bad language. If she is *this* potty mouthed in her emails, then what does the BG grow up with?
So then R sends her some questions about how BG is. No answer. For 2 days. So I resend them from my account in case they haven't gone through. Cue rudeness and so on, and cries of "I'm busy" - aren't we all love? She's just got a proper job for the first time since she's been there, is making "great" money (good, she'll need it!) and is stressing about it all. TBH, aren't we all like that?
Eventually she answers the questions, after being rude to me on MSN for a while.
Then there's a whole load of rubbish between her and R about the alleged divorce, which, tbh, may or may not ever happen because even though she left she wants to stay married (WEIRD!)
And following all that and the discussion about solicitors and so on, she lets us know that BG is not well. She has a poorly tummy. So the She-ex is giving her Sprite. Which I disagree with but that is beside the point. There's a brief exchange between her an R in which she claims America doesn't have paracetamol (yes they do, under a variety of names!) and since then, nothing. Oh, there was a phonecall, after he called R on Saturday to see how she was.
Finish this later