Tuesday, July 7, 2009

The AC's report.

I sent a letter to the teacher of the AC today thanking her for a marvellous year of progress for the AC, and asking her to thank the leader of the intervention group that he went to for 16 weeks which really turned his writing around.

Grades wise, he should be getting around a 1b at his level.

Maths - 1b
English - 1c (slightly below, he's still catching up the writing, but we know his reading and comprehension age is around 2 years ahead)
Science - 1a (slightly above)
ICT - 1b

But that wasn't the important bit. For me, the important bits are that for his effort grades (which are Poor - Satisfactory - Good - Very Good - Excellent) he received 5 Goods and 6 Very Goods. That means he's trying hard, and I can't ask more of my son than that.

His personal comment at the end was wonderful as well.

It started off with :

"AC is a happy, polite, popular, caring and well behaved child. AC relates well with adults and his peers and he respects and follows the school rules, and is aware of, and can usually resist, inappropriate peer influence. AC has a positive attitude towards his work."

I won't type the whole thing lol, but it said that he had tried hard with his self organisation, and with his handwriting and letter formation, and "the presentation of his work is steadily improving."

All we've ever asked of him is that he tries hard and does the things he is asked to do. Because of that attitude, because of the work ethic he is growing up amongst, because of how important it is that he is a useful member of society, not a drain or a disgrace, even at his age, he has understood that he has a role to play in a wider society, that whilst he is the centre of my universe he is not the centre of the entire universe, and that is a good thing for him to know.
Working with the school on the intervention for his writing has headed off any potential disaffection at the pass, meaning that he is enthused and working at his own level again, rather than being angry for feeling frustrated at being behind.

His teacher is pleased, his Head teacher is pleased, and we are pleased.

More importantly, *he* is proud of himself, and has asked that we do some practice of his writing over the holidays so he can go back to school with it sorted out.

That's our boy.

Loving her to death....

..... ok, not death. But silence will do, and that's what I've got.

Yesterday, the She-Ex emailed me to tell me she'd bought the book. "The book" is the Learn to Read in 100 lessons type book, that she has been on about getting because the BG, according to her, "cannot read". (She can, she's just quite behind)

Anyway, randomly, and in an utter "picking an argument" kind of way, she emailed me this over sarcastic message last night, that she had the book, it had taken Sunday to now to read the first half, and it was good because whilst BG didn't need the first half of the book because she can already do those bits (hurrah for the realisation!) it was helping her mother to sound out what she needed to help her child read.

I replied that I was glad. If the She-Ex needed a book to help with that, then cool, glad she had the book she wanted, glad it would help, if it was going to give her more confidence in reading with the child then great. I said it would be easier than her letting us know how BG was getting on (we've had 1 spelling sheet since school broke up in the US and nothing really about her reading, despite the assurances that there would be, but then it's been almost a month since there were any pictures - not even a new picture of BG for Fathers day!) and basically I tried to be positive and enthusiastic about the book.

The book which I think is so *not* the right way for BG, and is an utter cop-out. But hey, different things work for different people, right? Right.

What I got back was rudeness and an accusation of stabbing her in the back with knives, or some such rubbish. Oh, and told I ruin everything.

Now, after the day I'd had, and the mood I was in, I had to work quite hard to send a positive and enthusiastic email to someone who has basically taken the work I've done for her and BG and thrown it right in my face with a whole load of "Too much like making an effort" attitude. The chances of her getting a second positive and enthusiastic email, that demonstrated understanding of her apparently fragile emotional state were slim. I can be, at times, quite a wordsmith, building pictures or attacks with words if I choose. It is always best to read my words literally, because rarely, so rarely, is there anything extra than what I mean, and after the flagrant abuse she gave R on Sunday for the crime of now being happy as he can be after *her* behaviours 4 years ago, I was itching to throw one.

But what would that achieve? Nothing. More animosity, more anger, more of what she wants, which seems to be an outlet for her pain and frustration at the fact that we are happy with each other and as she sees it "Apart from R not having BG, our lives are pretty damn spiffy" (still no apology for that one, and there was an enhancement on Sunday, but it's not my email, so I won't comment too much!) So I calmed my fingers, and typed a nice email that still got my point across I hope, but wasn't abusive. It did say that if she wanted to point score go ahead and win and have a trophy because it wasn't a game I played, which could have been worded better, but it needed to be basic so that she got the point I was making, which is simply this.

I don't care how BG learns to read, I just love her and want her to be able to read and have choices when she's bigger. (I told her teacher that at the end of school) Limited levels of literacy limit lives. She deserves a better life than her mother, with wider job choices and prospects that only come with college. Don't we all want our children to have a better life than ours? Don't we all want our children to be able to read and write and calculate?

Anyway, I was dreading opening the email to the torrent of abuse that has been there in recent weeks randomly, but this morning there was nothing. So either she took the message about point scoring, or she realised I wasn't being antagonistic and she was being paranoid again, or whatever, tbh, I don't care, but there was nothing nasty. On the other hand, there was nothing for R either, as BG's father, which kind of just reinforces the point for me that she was originally just looking for a row.

"Kindness is the oil that takes the friction out of life.” No idea who said that, but it's working for me today!