For reasons best known to myself, I've just read back over July 2009. For reasons best known to blogger, this is done backwards. I'm sitting here in my front room now, listening to the dishwasher, and reading, and thinking.
I know it seems hopeless Old Me. I know it seems like nothing will ever be sunshine again. But you know what? You get through it. It doesn't get 'better' and time is *not* a great healer, but it gets better and more liveable with. You'll learn to manage and then one day, our of the blue, you'll fall in love all over again. It'll be unexepected, and if anyone had asked you earlier that day if you were ready for anyone else, you'd have said no, but you didn't turn your back when the time came, so well done.
I'm proud of you, Old Me. Through it all the job was done, the child was fed, there was no need for misery to be on the outside, and you made it through. What you don't know yet, is just how long that will take.
Right now, it's 2084 days since you got The News. 5 years, 8 months, 15 days. Right now, you are just about back to the You you used to be. You've applied for an Assistant Headship (you didn't get it, but it's ok!) You've got really good friends and more importantly, the AC has made it through in fine form.
You got there.
Well done.
love,
Now Me.
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Dear Now Me,
You've got work to do, even if it is the holidays. Well done for making chicken stock from last nights bones, doing the dishwasher and tumble drier before 7am. School work beckons. Chop on.
You'll thank me later.
love,
Now Me.
(P.S . Don't forget to buy cat litter)
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Dear Future Me,
How are things? Hopefully you did get the Assistant Headship in the end and you're living on Easy Street. More likely, the AC has discovered lots of new places he *needs* to go, and you are brasic as usual.
Did you get through the menopause ok? You've been through tougher stuff, so that should be a doddle. It'll be early for you, apparently, but that's not a bad thing. One child was all you were given, and that's the way it is, He's gorgeous.
How many sphynx are there now? Currently you have one and plans for 2 more, plus Kevin The Hairy One. They are the loveliest animals, but I do hope Frank has grown out of his habit of biting feet to get people out of bed. It is effective, and he only wants me up so I can feed him and then he can get back into my warm bit, but it's a shock at 4:30am (Can he work out the clock changes yet?)
I hope everything is as lovely for you as it is for me now, if not lovelier.
So far, we've done ok.
love,
Now Me.
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