Saturday, October 25, 2008
So what's been happening I hear no-one cry?
Got more fish. :-)
R is going away again. :-(
AC is now a very fluent reader, and on Stage 4 books. :-)
AC loves me nine hundred million seventy six thousand four hundred and eighty two and a half. :-)))))))
AC has started footy practice. I'd like to write an unkind post about his tears caused by his father at his first footy practice, but I won't.
He-Ex has given up work to look after his mother apparently.
She-Ex has an *amazing* new job that she is *very damned good* at, but which she uses as an excuse to mess the phone calls around to suit her, as well as telling us that the BG wants nothing to do with us, and knows nothing about us. Even whilst in computer exile we blogged to her at least once a week. I don't think she gets to hear them. And her school report was shocking - the drop over the summer showed that nothing effective was done at home. Anyway.
I'm trying to FLY again. We'll need to! I've begun a CJ which is more pared down than the last monstrosity.
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
I struggle to exercise sometimes, being of an easily bored nature. I used to like going to the gym, before I had Sam, and I would love to go again, but finances being what they are, and childcare being what it is, and general work levels and inclination being what it is, I don't.
So R bought a WiiFit. What a damn good piece of fun it is! The only thing I don't like about it is that there is no children's setting, i.e. it keeps telling the Adorable Child to set a goal and lose weight.
However, for yours truely, it's good. I've just done 20 minutes exercise whilst tea was cooking. And that isn't a contradiction in terms because I am 5ft3 and weight 10st4 (144lbs) so whilst I am slightly over according to the machine, it's no big deal as far as I am concerned. I want to strengthen my back and hips and so on, because they are knackered and we would like to have a child. I mean we.
I don't mean I.
I mean we.
He *wants* to.
Ah, but (and here's the rub!) there are many factors. Finance, AC, Ex's, housing, all that stuff. Plus I am a crunchy mummy, but I'd have to plonk the child in nursery at a year old. And it would massively change our lives. Right now, I'll freely admit most people would say we had the best of both worlds. We have the AC all week, and all day Sunday, and twice a week I get to come home without him, and on a Friday his Daddy has him until 6pm Saturday. Most people say "Oh, you get a day to yourselves, how lovely!"
Not if you're me.
"You can go out on a Friday night!"
And what? I'd rather know my son was asleep in bed upstairs.
Anyway. All that would have to go if there was going to be another baby. No more lie ins (not that I do anyway!) No more random bike trips. No more random money expenditures.
But that's what I want. I want a child. Not a baby all cute and cuddly (although they are!) but a child.
And so does he. Eventually but soon, whatever that means!
Back to the Step Plus.
Sunday, September 28, 2008
Here's a question for you. If we can put a man on the moon, fly around the world, make a machine that makes and fills pasta with no human intervention, and communicate all over the world at the touch of a button, then why,
why is it so hard to buy a wardrobe and bring it home and build it?
Yesterday the lovely H and my R cleared the upstairs room of all the She-Ex tat, and the precious things of the BG, and they were placed into the loft. Mostly. There was a lot of books that went up there temporarily.
Today, we went to buy a wardrobe to go into the room. We want to get all that kind of thing out of the bedroom so it is just for sleeping in. It will be lovely when it's done and I'll post pictures. However before that, there are things that need doing, like the room needs plastering (can't afford it right now) and so on. Rather than wait, we wanted to go and buy a cheap wardrobe so that R could get on with the doing of the room and we'll just empty it and paint it later. No problems.
Homebase - home delivery.
Argos - home delivery.
B&Q - have some in stock!
Focus - home delivery
MFI - home delivery.
And home delivery is 14-21 days. This is no good as the plan is for the room to be usable by the time R goes back to the hot and sunny lands.
All we wanted was to buy a wardrobe and bring it home and build it!
In the end we got a very nice pair from B&Q, cream, lovely. More money than we wanted to spend, but will be used in our room later on, so more serviceable than we were thinking.
Right now R isn't well enough to build the wardrobes, so I shall have a go tonight (don't actually need him to do it, but he likes doing that kind of thing and I am busy! YES I am!)
We were supposed to be going to Duxford, but R really wasn't well today. Not good. However, it's the end of the worst weekend of the year for him, so we shall continue moving on.
Flywise, I have done nothing. I am a bad Flybaby. *sigh* I know that that is stinkin' thinkin' but it is the way I feel.
On the other hand, there is lots of clean uniform all over the place, there is clean clothes, there is a home cooked cassarole in the oven, and my son and my OH are happy.
It's all good!
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
School is going ok. There's some Makaton being learnt, there's some stressing being done, but mostly it's ok. There's a new dictat that says that we have to have something in their books everyday for numeracy and a three times a week for literacy. Right. Cue more marking, more stress, more worry for the children, and more time spent writing Learning Objectives than doing any actual work.
Home is not bad. The He-Ex didn't come for the AC at the weekend again, because his mother took a dramatic turn for the worse, but according to someone I know, he was back in time to go to the pub for lunch the next day. Quality parenting there then. When added to turning up at school drunk to collect the AC (no, I didn't let him) and not having phoned him for months, it just looks like he's losing interest in the AC. I suspect he's in the sack with someone, as this is his usual attitude when a new relationship starts, but actually, it makes my life nicer and easier, so fair play, get on with it, and naff off! It's unfortunate for the AC who will never understand that Daddy is like this, but whilst I can't protect him for ever, I can for a bit longer.
The She-Ex is a whole 'nother story, as they say.
I ranted about it on here, but then I've felt better and filed it away in the other blog. She can't help the way that she is, it's the same basic self centered attitude that a toddler has, where the world is all about them and the other stuff is an irrelevance. It's ok. I'll sort it out this end, like I always do. Which, at the end of the day, is why we're together, and why he's said that if we weren't together he'd rather be on his own than back with her, even if that meant living with the BG was out.
The house is still coming together. Still. We have friends coming round to move the stuff upstairs into the loft on Saturday, because I just can't move stuff. The Doc has said she has no idea what it is, and is referring me to the rheumatologist. Wait and see.
And I've been up since 4am, so I'm going to do some work now.
Saturday, August 30, 2008
the cat (awwwwww!)
The cat is great. He is adorable. His name is Joe and he is enormous and gorgeous and very very affectionate.
He has taken no time at all to settle in. He's clearly nervous around people sometimes, and we think he's been kicked about (but then the kind of stupid lazy and feckless people who leave a cat when they move house *are* the kind of people who kick cats and shouldn't have animals.) He is perpetually hungry, but as I write he is upstairs, curled up on the bed with R. Joe is a very big and solid cat, and has his first vets appointment next week for what is basically an MOT for cats!
The new car
How gorgeous? How big? How environmentally friendly? Well the answer to all those is very, as she is very gorgeous (some small work needed, but spares will come from the black Range Rover) she is huge (3.9lt EFI Vogue) and she is LPG converted, so doesn't have to run on petrol all the time. It's all good! We picked her up last night and she was a very comfortable ride home. It made us realise just how bad the big black one had got. R already feels more of an affinity with this one than he did the big black one, which never had a name, but always had a grumpy old man attitude!
the Bokashi buckets (coooooooool!)
They turned up yesterday from http://www.bokashibucket.co.uk/ for a very reasonable price and immediate delivery. There is a smell, but it's like a brewing smell, and if I keep the lid airtight on the bucket there is much less. I think it'll stop completely when I get an airtight tub to keep the bran in. There would have been pictures but the camera battery was dead. It's on charge now though!
going back to school. (humph!)
OK. Struggling with this one a bit. Basically just don't want to go. Want to see the kids. Want to teach. Want to spend time with like minded professionals. Tired of the paperwork, the pointlessness, the copying of results from one format to another just to please a different computer system, tired of the rubbish that goes with the excellence that is teaching. I'm a teacher. I'm not a secretary - why am I form filling? I'm not an admin worker - why am I filing? I'm not an analyst - sort out your own results from the raw info I give you. I'm a teacher. I'D LIKE TO HAVE TIME TO TEACH. Please.
Least said, soonest mended. The He-Ex got caught in bad traffic on the way back from seeing his mother who is in the same place he lost his dad less than a year ago. Therefore he didn't pick up the Adorable Child, AC cried because he was promised camping, AC had to come with us to look at the car, eat McD's because we were late, didn't go to bed until 10, and was up at 6. Like I say, enough said.
And that's life so far!
Friday, August 29, 2008
Saturday, August 23, 2008
(well, I could, but I shan't!)
Joe comes home today, and so there's a little bt of reshuffling to do in the front room so that he has some quiet space of his own as well as access to the rest of us. We're still working out where his litter box will go eventually, but for now it's going at the end of the sofa with his food bowls and bed, and we'll close him off in there a bit until such time as he is settled and wants to come out. He will have a whole patio door to look through, and eventually we'll get that changed when we get the rest of the windows done (hah!) so that it's one of those that tilts inwards as well as slides open, and that way we can get fresh air as well as keep him in.
We'll see how he goes.
I'm feeling better, and I think some of that is due to pulling back completely from the She-Ex situation. She didn't phone on Wednesday for him to speak to his daughter, and I've kind of got to the stage now where I think, well, if that's the way you're going to be, that's the way you're going to be. We've made life so easy for her over the last 3 years in terms of phoning and money and so on, and it's got to stop, because we deserve a life as well. All we ever get is grief and good intentions but no follow through anyway, so what's the point?
There's more about this somewhere else, but for now, I've had enough.
I'm going to go and sew. The quilt is coming on really well and going together really fast!
Thursday, August 21, 2008
I have poorly belly (reaction to pepper we think) and apparently now nits. I will deal with the latter and the former is sorting itself out.
My son is exhausted after his camping trip, because his father didn't put him to bed until late (fair enough, he was excited and somewhere new), he was uncomfortable all night, and then he was got up at 6 to get back here for 8.30 because his father was determindly going, even though he had to work the next day. As a consequence he was very unsettled and unsettleable yesterday and it was a loooooooooong day.
The cat people think the house is lovely, and that we are great, and that Joe will be very happy here. We pick him up at the weekend.
The starter has finally started making an effort after I mixed 1 cup of what was there, 1 cup bread flour, and 1 cup water together on Tuesday, then the same last night. It'll need to be done tonight, and then can just sit, and I'll slow bake with it on Saturday/Sunday.
We have one week of holiday left, and whilst we've done a lot it's not been loads but that's ok, if you see what I mean. The He-Ex has taken him to several places we were planning on taking him, because the money situation got so stuffed. Never mind.
And the child is up, so laters people!
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
It was not the best day we ever could have had.
I apparently have started the laziest starter in the world, although it has only had 17 of it's 24 hours as yet, so I shall keep an eye on it this morning. It came from here and seems to make sense. I shall update as the day progresses.
I achieved nothing in the house except cleaning the kitchen and bathroom. Actually, as I write that, it is quite a lot, especially as I made spag bol as well, and had enough meat sauce stuff left over to make lasagne this morning which is cling wrapped and ready for Wednesday night.
The AC and I also went for a looooooong walk to town to get the parcel which was indeed the bits for the Range Rover. We played in the park on the way home and eventually had sandwiches for lunch around 2pm!
And as a finale for yesterday, just as R got stuck into fixing the Rangy, the AC rolled off the sofa (in the midst of rolly pollying *on* the sofa) and smacked his head on his play table, which promptly came up so fast he nearly split the skin. I shouted R, he came in right away, and we put peas on it until it started to go down. AC was very quiet, not crying, nothing. We decided that if he wasn't interested in his tea than we would take him up to A&E, but he ate like a horse, and then perked up a lot, so he's fine.
And now he's put the TV on, turned it onto the Olympics, and said "Look, the Olympics is on, would you like to watch it? and please may I use the puter?"
Got to love him......
Sunday, August 17, 2008
Well, we went out and got the fish and they are gorgeous and great and less than a tenner for all 12.
Right now, that matters.
The tanks we have had sitting around for a while, one I bought when he and I were first together, and then I decided I was going to buy a house and we decided that it was unlikely he would be staying in the box that he had been forced into, so there was no point in setting it up.
Both tanks are now set up as tropicals, with Danio's swimming about in them looking rather lovely.
This was the tank that the Danio's and the Golden Sucking Loaches were in at the fish shop. Fabulous, fabulous fish shop. Walsoken Aquatics, if you happen to be around this way and need fish.
They had some huge reef tanks and so on there as well, but that's a long way and a different house away for us.
Finances, are just tricky. R didn't get paid the bonus that he was supposed to for being away, and in fact got stiffed a bit. That meant that not only were we well out of pocket following the wedding and the hotel and the car hire and so on, but that we couldn't make the child support payment that we voluntarily make to the She-Ex. There wasn't the money. It couldn't happen. I said I would try and see if we could make it out of my wages, but we can't. Basically, I used to pay it out of my wages, and then she had one hissy fit too many, and wanted nothing to do with me, so I stopped paying it and it went from his wages instead, and I paid a couple of extra bills from mine instead of his. No problems.
The money isn't there, so we can't send it to her. When the work sort everything out and we get the money, then we can send it. There you go!
R is back to work tomorrow after his few days off, and the cat people come on Tuesday to see about Joe's home visit to live here. The part for the Range Rover should be here tomorrow, if it wasn't already here on Saturday - we missed the postman and then the post office, so the AC and I will pick up the parcel tomorrow and see what it is.
And I'm to bed soon - I've had very bad stomach in the night, I won't distress anyone with details, but something I had eaten had not agreed with me at all. I've slept most of the day, R has taken care of me and the AC, and life has been drowsy and sofa based. AC has been fabulous, lovely and snuggly and caring.
I have a great life.
Saturday, August 16, 2008
Joe is a big, fat-to-the-point-of-being-on-a-diet tabby, who was left behind by his owners the first time he came to the cat place, (don't even start me on the selfish, lazy, STUPIDNESS, of people who won't take care of an animal when they move) and was then rehomed. Unfortunately, his new owner then became ill and went blind, meaning that she couldn't have Joe anymore, and he was back to the cat place again. He is also FIV positive, which is fine, just makes him an indoor cat. Sorted! He can't be with other cats because of the FIV, but he's cool. He loves having a fuss made of him, he approached the AC as opposed to the other way around, R thought he was fabulous, we're sorted!
I have a busting head today though. Off to find the Beechams. Then we're out on the bike to pick up the fish, as the Range Rover blew a hose yesterday on the way back from the cat place. It's all cool, we've ordered the parts, R will fix it, no worries. Just a pain in the rear as we have things to do that involve getting all three of us somewhere, and that *can't* be done on a bike.
We're talking about taking the tarp off of Ellie and starting her. As soon as I pass my test, she's my beast.
Thursday, August 14, 2008
So tomorrow we head over to the CPL again, to see what animals they have available. I know it would be easier just to get kittens, but we don't have a house suitable for kittens, nor a lifestyle suitable for them. And we refuse to make them fit our lives, making them unhappy in the process, when the perfect place for Derek and Clive is out there somewhere, and the perfect cats for us are in there somewhere.
The AC is cool about it, he's a very mature and understanding little boy, who I was told today was an utter credit to me. We were out in a coffee shop, having had a major disappointment in being turned away from the pool because it was full until 4pm, and he was calm, not all sobbing and trantruming, just gently disappointed and secure in the knowledge that as soon as I could take him I would!
I made a phonecall home, and it was all sorted. We went to the later swimming session, and got home to find that R had made tea for us. Quality bloke. He was disappointed not to have come swimming with us, but he says he will next time. Once again, a few hours away from the He-Ex, and the AC and R have an excellent relationship, playing snakes and ladders with the stone minibeasts we made, arranging to go to aircraft museums together and so on. Oh well.
Off to bed for me now. Busy day tomorrow!
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
There is still building work to be done but we can't get them done at the moment and they won't be done for a while, so we are having the fish.
Today we went to a fish place recommended to us, and it was ok. When we got back, we discovered that we actually had been to a different fish place, and not the one recommended to us, which was slightly further down the road! So we went there and it was really nice. We still have no fish (we can't have fish until the weekend at least because of the water having to settle down and then we have to test the water and see what the *insert technical words I have to learn* levels are and then we can have some little fish called Danio's.
Anyway, I'll finish this later as I have to take care of the Adorable Child who is Very Excited About Fish.
We are looking at bokashi bins.
We are looking at cats. (and may have found a pair!)
We are looking at setting up the office properly.
We are looking at carpeting the office with what was going to go down here, and reflooring down here with wood.
We are looking at shelving.
We are looking at lots of stuff. But it's when you look deeply at anything that the environmental considerations become apparent.
For example - bokashi bins. Great idea. I really want to do this, I think it'll work for us, I think that this is a practical solution to our composting difficulties and my inherent abhorance of going out in the cold and wet to put potato peelings in the compost. Plus, I can compost more things this way. They are here and really look to be the solution. But I'm trying to factor in the cost of them coming here, in terms of miles, find a local supplier, so we can pick them up on the way to somewhere as opposed to having them posted, and so on.
I suppose the question is, how concious should I be? What are the biggest considerations as far as your environmental life is concerned?
The cat's are easy - they are coming from the local Cat's Protection place. Recycled? lol! There is a slight difficulty in that the enormous boy pair that I like are long hairs, and the little girl pair that we both liked are only from down the road to us and so may try and return home - literally it's within a mile.
The rest of it, well, R has said that all of his time and energy are going to go on making me happy in this home because he knows I'm not at the moment. How wonderful is that?
Tuesday, August 5, 2008
But we are starting a new environmental leaf, so to speak. And there are things that must be done. I've restarted paying attention to what goes in the bin. I've started cooking more from scratch again and it's all good. I shall keep you informed, oh blog of mine. I tend to use selfsufficientish.com quite a lot for ideas and help, and recently bought the Selfsufficientish Bible which I am really enjoying, as is the Adorable Child, and we have lots of things to make!
Laters people. Off to play with the new phone.
And of course the Olympics beckon.........
Friday, July 25, 2008
Today was a long and slightly weird day. It was a good day, it was a very emotional day, it was everything it should have been.
Today we said out final goodbyes to Grandma's mortal remains at the Crematoriam at 10am, and then lunch at church at 12, Service of Celebration at 2.30, then tea and cake afterwards.
The Crem bit was fine, we were there in plenty of time, and it was just family. Mum and Dad, Shelia and Francis, Andrew and Christopher (their two boys) Ru and Fran and the lovely niece and nephew, Hannah and Alan (who get married on Friday - whole nother set of blogs there) and us. And Mr Ralph and Nelson who are family. Not family friends, family.
We walked the coffin in, and the undertaker Emma, dressed in whole Victorian undertaker get up had her lads place Grandma on the plinth thing, and there was a hymn, and a reading, and it was lovely. I cried, Rich held my hand, and it was fine.
We chatted for a bit afterwards, then headed back to the house, got changed, packed up the bike pannier and zipped over to mum and dad's for lunch at the church and then the service.
The service was amazing.
My uncle read about what his mother in law, my grandmother was like, what her life had been like. We sang 4 hymns in big voices, as a true Methodist should, we prayed, we listened, we sang some more. Sometimes tears escaped me, sometimes they didn't.
And then the minister announced that we would sing Taps, as my grandmother was a Brownie, Guide, Trefoil member. It was shattering. We sung it properly, we sung it loudly, we sung it to give grace and praise and joy back to an old lady who had done so much for everyone else.
I'll ask mum for the words and put them on here. It rocked.
There's more to say, but I can't right now.
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
I just had my emails back from BlogHer. One of my blogs the URL doesn't work, (well I probably mis-typed it!) and the other needs a password. Now I didn't realise, but that makes it not pulic access.
I can't remember why it's set to that, and tbh, it probably has something to do with the She-Ex, but it made me think about blogging, and why I do it, and why on here, I seem to have a different style of blogging to anywhere else I have ever blogged.
And I wanted to remind myself to think about that later, so I am. Right now, I have to get the AC and I dressed, ready for the LAST DAY OF SCHOOL!
And in other secret news - MY MAN IS HOME! More on that story later boys and girls. (well, mainly girls!)
We'll get used to it, of course we will, and this one has really flown by. It was not part of the job when we got together, but now it is. Of course I worry, and I want him home, and I want us to be a family, to be sorted, to be together, but I am worried about what he will be like when he comes back. Maybe he'll just be the same.
Nothing prepared me for hearing the air-raid siren whilst on the phone to him though. Suddenly, it wasn't fun anymore. It wasn't a trip away that earned us extra cash, it was dangerous. But that's the way it is, you know. That's just it.
Since he's been away my grandmother has made the final journey (funeral on Friday) we have discovered we have mice, I've trodden on a slug in the dark in bare feet, the bank have lost and then found £1300 of our money, and so on! It's all been just fine.
And there have been times when the peace has been nice, when the quiet has been nice. And there have been times when the bed has been too big and there have been no arms to run to and no one to lean on and I think we've both found that.
But regardless of whether I think he should be there, he is there, even if he's now coming home. And the lads he leaves behind there, at all different degrees of deployment, need support, even if the reason for them being there is cock-eyed.
As usual in the news there is some wombat spouting off about how society is falling apart, and it's the young, and the schools that are at fault because teachers are not doing their job properly.
I take exception to that.
As a teacher of 7-9yr olds, I would love to take responsibility for the children I have.
If I did, they would be at school on time, having had breakfast, a
wash, some clean clothes, and their hair brushed and de-loused. Their
homework would be done, they would have read to an adult who gave a
damn and could read themselves, and they would be keen to learn.
During school time they would listen, write what they thought about,
have the freedom to think without having had the tv mash their brains
for them, or having been up until 10pm on the DS or XBox360 playing
games rated 18. They would know how to respect other children, adults,
school property, and their own clothes. They would know how to dress
themselves and have the PE kit to change into.
After school they would be fed, played with, helped with homework and
eventually put to bed no later than 7.30 after a warm bath and hairwash
And then we'd start all over again in the morning.
I can do it with my son and teach full time, and work evenings on
school work, so why can't 63% of the parents in my class? (Yeah, I
worked out the stat myself!)
I would love to take responsibility - but heaven forbit I even point at
a child these days, in case I am invading their personal space.
But if I don't because I can't, and the parents don't because they won't, then who will? Well certainly not the social, because they are over stretched as it is, and their attitude is that at least the child is at school, has clothes on, and is fed (yes, at school!)
The parent's won't because they either can't through drink and drugs, have more children than money, or in some cases just don't know how to parent properly. Too many parents want to be the child's friend instead of their parent, negotiate and then capitulate rather than set firm boundaries, feed a child processed rubbish instead of cooking properly (usually because they don't know how to cook either!)
So who takes responsibility in the end? Well, no one. Not even the child themselves, because they've been brought up that nothing is their fault, there is always someone else to blame, and usually, they fall back on the schools.
I have mice in my house.
I cleaned out under the guinea pig cage today because the Fudge Creature, who has the bigest cage in existence which is apparently big enough for two rabbits, persists in chucking his hay out over through the bars, and periodically it needs doing. So I did it, moved all the stuff, moved HANDFULS of hay (no wonder he's always hungry!) and then discovered little tiny bits of hay. And a little store of food. And little tiny bits of poo. And a pervasive odour.
Now there are several good point here. It took me a while to find them, and I had to stretch a bit, even with my Pollyanna like tendancies, but I did find them.
1) The mice or mouse can only have been there since the demise of Tim-The-Cat which was only 6 weeks ago, and therefore that is a good thing.
2) There is a hole in the brick of the fireplace nearby. Ambitiously, I have decided that that is the entry and exit point for a sweet little field mouse, and have blocked the bugger accordingly.
3) The boiler cupboard is now cleaned out, the pig stuff is in the boiler cupboard, and therefore one of my long term "I must do that" jobs is already done.
Like I said, some of them were a bit of a stretch.
I am going to insist that we get another cat, asap. Or two.
Saturday, July 19, 2008
It's made me think about why we blog. For instance, this blog was originally the house blog, and will be again. My MySpace page was for general stuff, but got hit by the Marham Mummy Mafia, so in the end I let it be. I have a Xanga page, which I write in a lot, and a wordpress page. In fact, there are 2 Wordpress Pages, because I blog every week to the Beautiful Girl.
But I've decided to start blogging for me.
I have the summer holidays coming up, I have time to get in the habit of doing it. I have an opportunity each year that lots of people don't have, in which I get 6 weeks to remake myself anew.
So now all I have to do is work out how this BlogHer thing works!
Any ideas anyone?