Friday, June 26, 2009

Fabric shopping

Fabric shopping! I love fabric shopping. I sneaked into town when I had to get my prescription, and bought material.

I'm thinking about this material. It could be ANYTHING!

This material is already sliced. I love the greens. They are all greens. I'll try and take better photos tomorrow in the daylight.

But it's already sliced into strips, then stitched together into bigger strips, then tomorrow it'll be sliced into post and rail blocks and eventually a quilt.

I'd like to have it done for when the AC gets back. He wants a quilt big enough for all three of us to snuggle under!

Night night folks!

This is what I meant to say!

  1. Love Your Wife*
  2. Spend Time With Your Children
  3. Be a Role Model
  4. Understand Your Children
  5. Show Affection
  6. Enjoy Your Children
  7. Eat Together As A Family
  8. Discipline With A Gentle Spirit
  9. Pray and Worship Together
  10. Realize You're a Father Forever
I just robbed this, most blatantly from Muthering Heights because it sums up what I was trying to say earlier about R and AC. The only one he doesn't do is 9, and that's because he does it his way, and we do it ours. He is very supportive of ours, but will always answer a question AC asks him about his. And that's the way we like it! AC will come to his own mind, eventually.

But the rest, that's what makes him a great Daddy.

I love him.

Fathers and sons.

I watched R take the AC into school today. We drove there, parked in the teachers carpark, and I kissed him goodbye for around 60 hours. He's home on Sunday evening.

Then R helped him down from the car, and they walked into school, AC with his book bag, his clothes bag, R with my work for my children. They talked all the way. AC's face was tilted up to R to hear what he was saying, R was tilted down to AC, and I just wished I had my camera for that photo, that picture of what parenting is.

It's talking, and listening.

It's loving your child enough to take them all the way to their classroom because the person who usually does it isn't there. It's loving your child enough to care about what they are saying, to give it value, and it means your child will always come and say what they need to, because they know you will listen.

I watched R straighten the back of AC's t-shirt, ruffle his hair, and carry on walking, and I was almost overwhelmed with the love I have for those two people. I was overwhelmed by how much they so clearly love each other. How much they have grown to love each other, and how much it has been a choice for both of them, and they've chosen to go the same way.

I was also amazed by how much they are alike. AC walks like R, not like his father. I can see why so many people are surprised when I say there is no biological connection between them - because they look enough alike to be father and son.

But R is not his biological father, but he's growing to be his daddy, and that's cool by all of us.

Like the quote says

"Any man can be a father, it takes someone special to be a Daddy."

I hate waving goodbye

He knows I love him.
He knows I'll miss him.
He knows that life goes on without him.
I know he loves me.
I know he'll miss me.
I know that life will go on without me.

Doesn't mean it doesn't make me sad to see him go.


A weekend of


and generally doing what I like is on the cards - as long as everything I like is inside the house lol!

First up?

A cup of tea and level 11 on WOW.

Happy days.

Although no AC to look forward to returning home. Oh, the Good Mother thing is a pain sometimes, but it's the best thing for the child that matters, not my selfish needs.

Round 3 begins...


Round one was my neck.
Round two was my back.
The place of battle for round three is apparently, my face. This morning I have 2 on my face.

Actually, that is good, that makes things easier. I can see when these have done the scabbing thing, rather than doing what I did yesterday and putting my shoulder out by trying to see the ones on my back.

Other than that, life is good.

Except for 1 thing.

I have done the good mummy thing and it stinks. Utterly stinks. I phoned the He-Ex yesterday and asked if he would like to have the AC for the whole weekend, instead of bringing him back on Saturday evening, because at the end of the day, I can't take him anywhere, he would just be stuck inside the house all day with me, which would end up in too much Electronic Babysitter (as the tv is known in our house!) if I was feeling too bad, and that's not good for any child. Which is better? That he's stuck home with me just to keep me company or that he's out with his father having a good time?

So I phoned, and yeah, he's staying over 2 nights. It's good that he gets to spend time with his father - at some point the chap will get a proper job, or in fact, any job, and they will see less of each other. It makes sense for them to see more of each other now.

Which leads us to the holidays.

Usually in the holidays AC stays over at his fathers Friday night as usual, and Tuesday night as an extra. He-Ex is proposing that we put the nights together. He wanted Thursday Friday come home Saturday. I've thought about it, and no.

I will suggest Monday Tuesday Wednesday as an alternative, and just for this summer holiday. That way they'll get a cheap deal camping somewhere, and we'll get whole weekends with the AC, which would be marvellous.

I don't think, unless a person has been in this position, that anyone can understand the pain and frustration of having to have your child away from you. Obviously, no-one can understand it like R, who lives with it day in, day out. AC has never stayed anywhere that wasn't with us or with his father. That's part of our parenting style. But AC is getting bigger and there will be sleepovers and so on, and that's cool, when he's a lot bigger.

So yeah. Made the best decision for the child, but hate it for myself. I love my child. Why would I want him away from me?

Only The Plague could make me do it.....