Saturday, May 26, 2012

Quiet Saturday? Finally.....

After the rushing around of the last few weeks, and the rushing around that will come in the next few weeks, this weekend is an oasis in the middle of chaos.

I've got plenty of work to do, of course, I always have lol, but I'm planning on doing it slowly and chilling my way through it.  All I have to do is "get on with what comes next in my day"  That's it.  Just do the next thing. (Thanks Trevor)

I tweeted with the Thinking Slimmer people yesterday, about an electronic version of their handbook.  Anyone who knows me will know that I am not a paper person.  I am just not.  I will lose it, crumple it, forget where it is, put it in a lovely folder and lose the folder, and so on.  I need an electronic thing.  Even I can't lose the entire internet.

I've made myself an evernote folder to start with, but to make sure I am accountable, I'm also going to put the targets on here.

1) I want to wear my black size 10 jeans comfortably.  Right now I can't get them past my hips.  If I get chance, I intend to take a photo to increase my awareness of how I'm doing.
2) I want to not rely on sugar to get through my day.  This is a change in attitude, in awareness of what I'm eating.  I've fallen into the working mother trap of grabbing stuff when I can, then doing a full meal in the evening for everyone, tasting whilst I do it (it's a necessity for a good meal!) and then eating too big a portion, then snacking in the evening.
3) I want to wear a summer dress and not look like material stretched over treetrunks.  I'm 37, I'm not in bad shape, but I am heading out of shape and I will not let that happen.  I won't.  My son is not having a fat mummy at sports day, or someone who can't play with him, or someone his friends laugh about.  No way.

It wants a time, I want to do this by the start of August.  Or be really on the way.  I want to feel like I can run on the beach with my boy without Jodrell Bank phoning up to say that I'm upsetting the telescope settings.  (Once again, I appreciate that I am not mega-massive, but since I've had my knee done I find it hard to run, and when I do, it's less of a run and more of a lumber.)

I also need to record 3 things I have noticed.

To be fair, the first day I didn't notice very much, because I had a busting headache.

1) I'm choosing to drink water - but I don't remember making that choice.
2) I'm eating sweets whilst the lads are flying, but less than usual, and I can hear Trevor telling me it's my choice. 
3) I've just realised I didn't eat my chocolate treat yesterday morning, but I did have a healthier snack at break time.

Yesterday I ate.....

2 slices toast with mashed banana on top - and I've just realised I didn't put sugar in.

oatcakes and honey (graze box)
Garden of England (graze box)

cheese and potato pie and salad

bag of bacon crisps

lamb rogan josh and rice, 1/2 naan bread, 1/2 popadum. - and I didn't eat all of it.

So there we go!

I've listened today, and we'll see how it goes.  I only get quiet time in the mornings, so that's when I listen.  I need to listen to the Chillpod as well, so I'll see when I can get that in.

Thursday, May 24, 2012

Hiatus? and Slimpod

There's been a bloggy break for a couple of weeks, mainly due to the burglary at the shop and working every minute God sends to get things back on track.

In the last week or so, I've been listening to an audio download from thinkingslimmer.  The relax one, lovingly called by the compant a "Chillpod".  Partly, I downloaded this one because it was free, and partly because I can feel my stress levels rising as we get to the anniversary again.  I thought it was just me last year, and I don't really remember the year before that as the first year, but apparently not.  I also don't think it's all the anniversary, I think it has a lot to do with work levels in teaching at this time of year, with the way that life in general is going, with report writing, and so on.  Anyway, the net result is that I am Not A Happy Bunny as we change seasons. 

I was sceptical.  I'll grant that.  However, this is me, with my hat covered in salt and red sauce.  Somehow, I find it is helping, and that I am calmer.  Yesterday I missed a day, and I noticed it.

So yesterday I downloaded the next step.  The Drop 2 Jeans sizes slimpod.  Before anyone goes off on one that I am not fat, I completely agree with you.  I'm not.  This is me, without body dysmorphia or whatever they call it when you think you are a heifer and you aren't.  I am, however, still struggling with my knee.  It's been over a year.  The weight that I put on when I was heading towards the surgery and couldn't walk properly, added to the weight that I put on after the surgery, when I grumpily tried to go through getting better, is all adding up to the fact that I am getting bigger.

I refuse to get to a size 16 again.  I just won't.  Whilst I know that a lot of it isn't my fault, that a person *has* to eat something when they are recuperating or immobile, I'm faily sure that *something* doesn't involve whole packets of biscuits!

Then I got talking on twitter to @TheMoiderer , who is an utterly top bird, and she was saying how good it was and how it worked for her, and so I took a wander through her blog and was convinced that there could be hope!  I don't have time to diet and think about food and so on all the day.  I also don't want it all to go and then come back with all it's friends.  That happens.

Hence the Slimpod. Will it work? I don't know - but then I was sceptical about the Chillpod, and that appears to be working.

It advises not weighing (which is good as my scales are broken) and measuring instead. 

waist 31
stomach 40
each thigh 25
hips 43

My bust is around 36/38, depending on time of the month, and the stomach can expand to overfill a size14 when that happens as well!

The slimpod people don't know I've written this, so they aren't influencing me in any way, although I am following them on Twitter and they seem nice folk! (I will tell them I've written this though - I don't want to talk about them behind their backs!)

IN other news, I have started report writing.  Deep joy.

Friday, May 11, 2012

I am a pensioner (and so is the AC)

It is true.

After almost 3 years, several letters, quite a lot of hoop jumping,  and finding documentation to prove what I say is true, the AC and I are going to be in reciept of a pension from Rich's old work.  It's not the RAF dependants pension, but the point is that it doesn't have to be.  The She-Ex has that, and I hope she uses it well for BG's future.

This has never been about the amount for me, (although it is nothing to be sneezed at!) but about the principle.  The intention that Rich's family, and Lori herself, seemed to have, that the AC and I can be whitewashed out of his life like we were never there, like he didn't love us and like we didn't love him, has been defied.  Rich's aunt actually said that the way Rich and the AC felt about each other wasn't important, that the BG was the blood daughter and the only one who mattered - and that was less than a fortnight after his death!

This was about someone, anyone, appreciating what we all meant to each other.  This was about the fact he had two children that he supported, two that he cared about and cherished and loved and protected.

It's all good people.  It's all good.

And it's back dated, which means we've been looking at things

like this.......... and this

or even along these lines.....

(photo from

Watch this space.......  camper van here we come!

Tuesday, May 8, 2012

Changing Habits

I've just been reading a most excellent book that I got as a prize from a Twitter competition.

Power of Habit Amazon link here
Power of Habit Website link here
Lovely people at Windmill Books who ran the competition and posted me a book that HAS changed my thinking and could consider themselves to be the way that God is answering a prayer of mine link here. (They have an excellent rang of books and reviews and are on twitter.  Follow these people.)

It does exactly what it says on the tin.  It looks at habits and what we do and why we do it.  It looks at how to change what we do, and what happens when we do, right from a neurological level up to practical effects in our life.  It looks at what we have to change, and how what we have to change isn't always what we think we have to change.

It does it so well, I'm thinking about getting the e-book after payday.  It actually makes sense.  I'm going to start small, and I'm going to make changes.

One of them is not spending so much time on the computer first thing in the morning.

My habit is to leave the house late and grumpy.
My change will be to turn this off by 0700.
My reward will be to have a more cheerful journey to school with the boy, with time to chat.


Monday, May 7, 2012

In the middle of the night.....

It is Stupid O'Clock.

I'm up because J is at work because the shop has been done over.  Massive of stuff has been taken apparently.

We've spent the weekend at an airshow, and it's been fabulous, but so Very Tiring!  The kids had a great time, we had a great time, we loaded and unloaded boxes and boxes of models and props and the kind of stuff that you take to a Large Model Show when you are a shop.

Friday we were up and back to get T-Boy.  Home about 9.  Bed by 12pm because the snakes needed feeding and that takes a couple of hours.

Saturday we were an hour and a half away from home at the show by 8am.  We went to bed around 1030pm after the lads had gone back to the shop (hour each way) and got more kits. (and KFC, for which I love them and forgave them everything!)

Sunday we were up at 7 after spending the night on a deflated air mattress which was Not Comfortable, to spend the day at the show doing stuff and watching some amazing flying displays, including the half scale tiger moth.

Starting packing up the show around 5.  Drove back.  Unloaded the vans.  Came home.  Bed around 11.  Up at 2.30am when the alarm system phoned to say it was being burgled.  J went, phoned me to confirm, and I phoned police etc.

The lads are there now.
I'm home now.
I can't be there, because the children are here.
I know the police are there.

I know I'll be tired tomorrow and that I should be in bed now because the children will be up tomorrow, but I can't.  I can't go to bed without knowing that everyone is ok.  So I'm up, watching Discovery Shed's Auction King's, which is the same kind of thing as every other kind of reality show, and then Dinner PArty Wars, which will probably be utter pants.

On the other hand, I feel like part of the shop team, and I'm treated as such.  I might not get paid in cash ever, and I wouldn't expect to, because I don't know enough about what I'm doing, but I love being there, I can shift boxes, make tea, do computery stuff, and basically do everything I can to help out.  That's what you do for family.  I'm worried, like it's family, because they are.

I should use the time to be working or something, but I am Too Tired. (I know, because I'm using Too Many Capital Letters!)

Speak to you laters peoples!

Thursday, May 3, 2012

A week already? And ICT.

Apparently it's been a week since I last wrote on here.

Sometimes that happens in my life though, and life has been so hectic recently.  Most of it is work related with the new Virtual Learning Environment going live to my class this week, and then email having gone live last week, and just STUFF! lol!  The result so far is that the children love it, the boss thinks I've done a great job, and we'll wait and see what the parents think.


Do we need Virtual Learning Environments?

Do parents want children checking the website and looking to see what is on it?  Am I sloggin my guts out for no good reason?  Should children be let to be children, and he home/school divide remain?

As a teacher, and an ICT specialist, I think that the VLE is great.  Love it lots.  Work on it loads.  And so on.

As a parent, it's good to be able to see what my son has to do.

But as a teacher, it's another pull on my time.

As a parent, I also want my son to relax and be an 8 year old boy, as well as a student.

Any thoughts?