This is the longest that I haven't blogged for in some time.
There was so much to say, I couldn't say it.
There was Remembrance Sunday, which was beautiful and amazing and I cried so much, as the shock of it all just slapped me again and again. The child was fine, and with friends who were here a lot of the day, and I only really cried when he could see me in the 2 minutes silence at the War Memorial.
There was Monday, Rev Neil's Celebration, and a magnificent day, full of wonder and joy, praise, laughter and eight hymns. 8. EIGHT! But all good, and all sung as only Methodists can.
There was Tuesday, which was ok. Weird, but ok. We had an author in, which was nice, and he was great with the children.
Wednesday I was on a course, and it was Armistice, and the 11th hour fell during coffee break. I made the computer put bbcnews on live, and I watched the service from Westminster, and I stood for the silence, thinking I was along, tears streaming down my face, unashamed of them, of what they mean and symbolise, not just for me, but for all the lads and lasses who died, and are dying, and are injured in Selly Oak, and around the world - it's not just British and American lads that die, although thankfully our losses are still few enough to still make the national news. The silence was broken by the Lord's Prayer, and I prayed it, out loud. And then I looked up to find the rest of my course group had come in, and were all stood, as was I, behind my chair, just waiting. One of the girls, gorgeous in her hijab (sp?) who I know, smiled at me, so gently, stood supporting what? I don't know. Maybe those who died, maybe me, maybe just remembering all the losses, from whatever faith.
Thursday was a phonecall from the Police about the inquest, a pointless course in the morning, and then swimming and nothing really in the afternoon.
Friday was today.
And this post was inturrupted by a phonecall, from a land far away. I am a lucky girl in many respects. It wasn't from BG unfortunately, and I've had no word from her mother as to when a good time is, or how she is or anything like that. That's ok. (ok, it's not ok, but it's the way she is, so *shrug*) But I had a phonecall, and someone reminded me that everything will be ok, that we just keep soldiering on, in our own ways, and we'll get through our times of trial.
Tonight, I shall eat noodles, clear the table, sew, and read.
Tomorrow Kev goes to the vets, life is chilled, I bake, and clear and we have guests at 6.
Life is going to be ok. No matter how I feel.