... just taking some time out to reflect.
There's been a distinct polarisation of my emotions recently. On the one hand, I am living life without Rich in it. I am enjoying my life. Not as much as I did with him, but then life is what we make it, as I keep saying, and I choose not to be bitter and miserable and blame the world. On the other, when I have the feeling of missing him, it's more extreme. It tears my soul. It lasts longer, but comes less often. It rips through me like a hurricane, rather than the thunderstorms of the past.
And tomorrow is BETT10.
I've just looked through the other blog, the one for BG, the one that no-one has looked at for a looooooooooong time, and seen the pictures of us at BETT09. It was a fabulous day, Rich was a great governor and loved the tech shows. He always put the children and the school first. He was always so enthusiastic about BETT especially, and we'd talked that this year we would go to London for Friday/Saturday, and stay at Jack's, and go on the London Eye and do the tourist thing.
I know we won't now, obviously.
BETT will still be good, in it's own way. Ru is coming with me, and we'll have a laugh, we always do, but the last 2 years it's been Rich, and that's going to be hard.
I'll make it ok though. That's what I do best.