No really, I am. The iPad is in the kitchen, on the microwave because it is also being my radio.(absolute 80's, for anyone who wants to know!)
It's also BG's birthday today. I am banned from sending her anything. Sam and I have been neatly whitewashed out of her life because her mother is afraid of what I will say to her. So I'm going to start updating the blog that we shared with her about our lives. I'm going to start updating it with memories of her father, of how we got together, of what I saw here England life was like, of how her mother was and why she never saw her Daddy again after she was taken away to live in the States. I will never stop loving her, never take her picture from the fridge, never delete the ones we have of her, and I will always think of her as part of our family. Why should her mothers fear stop her having memories of her father from the person he considered to know him better than anyone ever had? From the person that he credited with saving his life after the She-Ex broke her promise and took BG to another continent, refusing to let him see her, refusing to send him photographs, letting them both down by "losing" the calling card on a regular basis? They might have his Afghanistan medal (though if her housekeeping is the same I doubt she knows where it is!) but we had his heart and his love and his presence. We wrote to him whilst he was away. We mourned him. Although his brother stole his ashes away (breaking a promise as well) we still Celebrated his life in our own way. Her mother wouldn't even let her come to that, and only sent a message at the last minute.
And yet I am the evil one...
I know one thing though.
When her mother wasn't home she said she loved me. She would never, ever say it when the She-Ex was home.
I think that tells us all we need to know....
