Thursday, December 30, 2010

Oh my word

The AC's dad is off on one again.

He's going away for the weekend with his latest squeeze.  Am I bothered he has a girlfriend? Ummmm. No.  I was very happy with Rich, I am very happy with J, and if he and the She-Ex had partners life would have been then, and would be now, much nicer for all of us.

I sent back a joking text saying that I was glad his finances had sorted themselves out a bit, and I would look forward to seeing that reflected in the AC's maintainance. Rich never ever shorted the BG, J never shorts T-boy, but the He-Ex feels it is fine to short us all the time, and because I feel sorry for him, I let him get away with it.

I'm in the middle of working out the AC's running costs (outside of the house) for his father just so he can see how much it costs, financially, to maintain this particular child.  J would never ever see the AC go without, and we have been very fortunate, AC and I, in that his stepfathers love him without question and without measure and that he loves them the same way.

Can I pick good men?  Does the Lord provide them?  I know what I think.......


He's gone off on one and I am the Queen of Evil, demanding money from him blah blah blah.

I have never been like that.  I have never wanted to be like that.  I have worked so hard *not* to be part of the nasty Ex-Wife community, because I am not like those people.  I would never use the child as a pawn, like some mothers do, or demand extra money, or withhold pictures, or not let my child see his or her father, or speak to them or whatever.  I busted my backside to make sure that BG got her money, even when her mother was being the nastiest piece of work I had ever had the misfortune to come across.  Her father and I wrote the blog up every week for her.  We wrote to her via one of her teachers, because her teacher gave more of a damn than her mother did about that poor little scrap.  She's not even my child!  Rich turned down a great job to stay around here so that the AC could see his father regularly as he did then.  Rich took time off work when the AC was ill, he cherished that child, and there were a lot of people who didn't know that they weren't related in the usual manner.

I refuse to be part of the nasty.  I will not join in the Evil Fraternity of Ex-Wives, determined to punish their ex-husband for perceived slights.  I have enough reason to be nasty, but I won't. I won't. I won't.

Robert Fulgrum (Author of Everything I needed to know in Life I learned in Kindergarten) once said

“Peace is not something you wish for; It's something you make, Something you do, Something you are, And something you give away.”

And so that's what I'm going to do.  I'm going to make peace with him, think about how we can maintain it, be peaceful to him, and hopefully he'll gain peace from that.

I can hope.

Time to make a ToDo list......