Thursday, December 27, 2012

Cup of tea?

This is my massive cup of tea. Massive, I tells ye. Today I raise it to the lovely Rachel, aka BG, in the hope that she had a wonderful Christmas, and that she knows that thousands of miles away, we're thinking of her. A lot. (It's a very big cup of tea!)

Highlights from Christmas? A very, very happy child. His Scotty present was a Kindle Fire HD, and he also had a 'missing the Millies' present of a James Bond Aston Martin. J and I got him a bike and sundry small presents like books and so forth. Both boys had new Scotty tops!

And me? I was shamelessly spoilt by J, with a 3DS XL and a lovely calligraphy set.

J had bits for his plane, which he wanted, and T-boy had a lovely day as well. I'm not going into his presents on here - his mother has some kind of jealousy issue about it all I think. Ah well. She'll get over it. Or not.

Anyway, today is for slobbing out on the sofa. And with my massive cup of tea, I am able to do just that!

Saturday, December 22, 2012

How Scotty's helps the AC
The AC is all over the Scotty's Little Soldier's website.

He's also the official mascot for the world record rugby game!

His Christmas present from Scotty's has arrived - 2 parcels! (Not that he knows about those!)

It's been a wonderful week for him.

Today I get to give a little back. In about an hour I'm starting the first of a long day of bag packing at Sainsbury's, to help raise money for Scotty's. Originally I said 12noon, but when they said they had no-one for earlier, I went with earlier. So I'm tired on the first day of the holidays. So what? I know my daddy is safe at home! I
can phone him, hug him, tell him I love him. I know my man is safe upstairs. I can hug him and tell him I love him.

I'm not waking up to my first Christmas with a desolate child and a ruined life. I've been there, done that, and I'm wearing my hoodie with pride!

Packing bags for 12 hours? Easy as anything, in comparison....

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Wednesday, December 19, 2012

World's Strongest Man

I'm having one of those days. One of those unsettled, unsure, slightly grieving, slightly miserable, kind of days. And it's ok, and itwillallbefine, and so forth, but it is still there.

It started with David
Bowie, Winter's Tale, and then just lingered all day.

It's ending with World's Strongest Man, something that we used to watch together.

J is out, and went the other way, so I didn't get to wave. Tonight that really bothers me. I remember seeing Rich off, the morning he died. I remember like it was yesterday. I remember the last smile, the last wave, the last rise to settle his leathers, the last sight of him going up and over the bridge.

The next time I saw him, he was cold, laid out in the viewing room, and he was just an empty shell.

Life became like the Atlas stones, each day bigger, heavier, more difficult to manage. But I had the AC, and then lovely J, and now I'm super strong again.

Mostly. Maybe I just have mental cramp today.....

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Sunday, December 16, 2012

Normal weekend?

I'm not having a normal weekend. Not for me. But it is normal for lots of people. This is not a normal Sunday.

Usually I am working every hour of the weekend. Today, I'm not! I've done some crochet, some non-school-related reading, played with the boys, chilled with the man, and relaxed for the first time in 12 weeks.

I might even have a little nap this afternoon!

But why is this so abnormal? Why is this not my normal? Is it work amounts, or the way I work? I know my work/life balance isn't great.

It bears investigation. I like this normal!

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Friday, December 14, 2012

Hey Joe, where'd you go?

Joe the cat of much fatness has gone. He went a week ago yesterday. He's the tabby underneath Kevin the Ginger. He was fat, FIV+, slightly obnoxious at times, very loving, and ours.

Rich, Sam and I went and picked him out here, in 2008. You can see from those photos just how big and fat he was!

But this was him 3 weeks ago.

Scrawny. Not happy. Living in a hood because if he didn't then the recurrent skin infection caused him to tear himself to shreds. FIV+ meant he had no immune system. He was fighting with nothing except the antibiotics we gave him, which also gave him diarrhoea. That came with its own issues,
because the cold weather had triggered his arthritis, and he couldn't move quickly.

So I made the phonecall, my sister arranged it all, and J took us down there. He stayed in there with Joe whilst the boy and I waited in the waiting room. AC cried. I cried. Hannah came to get us to come in and see him, and he looked fine, very normal. She'd even arranged him so the worst of his bad patches were covered. She's amazing.

We came home, and Kevin has looked for Joe ever since. Shouting, in his own part Burmese way "Hey Joe, where'd you go?"

Still not regular!

No, not my insides, they are fine. I mean my blogging. I used to blog all the time, incessantly, like I had some kind of literal diarrhoea. (not literal as in actual, but literal as in literary - my insides are fine, like I said!)

It wasn't because I felt what I had to say was more important than what anyone else had to say, merely because I wanted to write. These days I am struggling to find time, energy and inclination, although I'm not short of inspiration! Most of mine comes from school though, and then needs anonymising, and so on. I will make the effort though.

I will

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