..... Look at that!
They keep coming along as well. How does that work? How does the rest of the world carry on?
It came to me last night in a flash of warmth and cuddles from R. The rest of the world can carry on because they didn't know him. They didn't care about him. They didn't love him.
But I can carry on because he gives me hope, strength, power, and I have the stubborn streak that he loved. I have the ability to hang on in there, even if, like a terrier, all I can to is sink my teeth in and go alone for the ride, which is what it feels like at the moment. And that's ok.
Because when all this is over, when the goodbyes from the rest of the world have been said, I will still have his love, still have his memories, still have had the best and happiest years of his life, according to those who knew him. I will still have his faith in me, his faith in us, and his dreams for the future.
Because I've got all that, I can get up this morning, and not carry on regardless, but keep going, fortified by his love.
That's an amazing feeling.