Wednesday, September 23, 2009

The letter I could write!

The She-Ex has been particularly difficult to understand today, demanding the death certificate which she feels I am keeping from her, when in fact there has been no inquest as such and therefore I don't actually have one to keep from her!

I haven't written to her, but if I did..........


Oh, She-Ex,

I am being calm and collected about this, because I do not want this to degenerate into some kind of abuse session from you.

Firstly, you are ignoring the fact that I am not being difficult, I am simply unable to supply the document you require, because the legal process is not complete. You will not have to attend that inquest, I will. It will be difficult enough as it is, without you making it more so, on purpose.

Secondly, I am fully aware that BG goes to school and how important school is. We were the ones who were trying to impress that upon you when you were getting letters from the truancy department of your education authority. I am glad she is going every day. She needs to, as does every child. Routine and education are important in a young child's life.

Thirdly, I am not on your "ass" about anything. The sentence was phrased in the future tense, as I was fully aware that she would not have seen the blog yet. Irritating as it is for you to know that Rich is loved and missed over here, and that BG is loved and missed, and that we are loved and cared for, I'm afraid that that is the truth of the matter.

Fourthly, it was your choice to be difficult about the divorce, about sending the papers, and so on. Your attitude towards that divorce has been recognised over here - all those times I told you things were noted? They were. This has been seen by some people, (not by me,) but by some people, as karma. Had you have got on with the divorce you would have been financially better off now. BG and AC would have been better provided for. Life would have been easier for you. However, you chose not to, because you thought to prevent us carrying on with our lives. As you can see, you did no such thing to us, and life is more complicated for you.


Oh, I'm bored of writing this now. She won't read it, (she doesn't read here anymore - she said so!) she won't listen, and she has her own "I'm a poor abandoned widow" agenda. I feel so sorry for her and for the BG, and I don't want to make it worse by venting my spleen on her.

I'm hurting a lot at the moment, and her keep on choosing to rip the scabs off, so to speak, is just too painful. Like claiming she loved him desperately - but clearly not enough to stay with him, or to send pictures of his daughter, or make sure they could talk, or send a Fathers Day or Birthday or Christmas card. Or divorce papers. Not that desperately.

And I know me. I don't want to share my pain with her, partly because she has no right to my pain, and partly because she is such an emotionally and mentally fragile person sometimes that I don't want to upset her, and by doing so make BG upset. The She-Ex has said that she cannot hide her emotions from the BG, so...... there we go, really. I won't choose to be unkind to her that way. It's too easy. It comes down to the fact that it is 4 years almost to the day since the BG saw her father, and there is no one else to blame for that but the She-Ex. She must feel awful about it, and there is nothing anyone can do to help her escape it, because it is the truth. *sigh* Poor her.

And now it's bed time.

Laters lovely people, much laters.

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