Remembrance Sunday

Today was Remembrance Sunday.

Today was painful, fulfilling, challenging, loving, tearful, patriotic, emotional, and more.

Today I remembered so much, that, last year I couldn’t remember.

Today I remembered Rich on the phone to BG just before he left for the Afghan. 

I remember seeing him drive away, and praying so damn hard that he’d come back.

I remember lying to him about how much I’d heard from the She-Ex and how many pictures there were. 

I remember the sound of the air-raid warning when we were on the phone, and how he told me not to worry, but he had to go. 

I remember the hope and numbness of just not thinking about it, when I hadn’t heard for 4 days. 

I remember watching the news at 3am when I couldn’t sleep.

I remember the shock of seeing him home 2 days early. Hearing Caroline shouting my name and me telling her I had to get off the phone.  Thinking I was seeing things.  Just seeing him there in his desert kit.

 

 

Today I held the hand of a man I’ll never have to pack for, I’ll never have to watch Sky News for, I’ll never have to deal with a vindictive ex-wife for, I’ll never have to see in danger.  I know there are mere boys out there at the moment.  Selfishly, tonight, I’m glad that none of them are mine.