Wednesday, April 4, 2012

Samantha Brick - what now?

The original article about Samantha Brick, by Samantha Brick.
The follow up article about Samantha Brick, by Samantha Brick
The Independant makes a point about female jealousy by LauraJo Davies
The Vice editorial which is as much of a joke as I thought the original article was.
An excellent blog post by SAHDandproud about a real person he knew like Samantha, and how that went.
Where does all this leave us?

I am 37, reasonably sized (UK 12-14) and when asked the question "Am I pretty?" my 8 yr old son replied "Weeeelllllll - you can be!" My other half thinks I'm beautiful (he's supposed to!) and my children in school think I'm lovely and nice, (They are also supposed to!)

Do I get given champagne on airlines? No.
Do I get jealous of other women?  No.
Have I had women be jealous of me? Yes.

*Disclaimer* She was in the middle of a marital break up and was jealous of everything.  She was not in a good mental place and resented the fact that her husband, my best friend, talked to me when he wouldn't talk to her.  She wouldn't understand that it was mostly about how to get them back together, or that I orchestrated the buying of the nice things treats that he got her.  She was jealous of how her daughter behaved herself when she was at my house - once a teacher, always a teacher lol!  But moving on.

I'm not overly intelligent - I have a Bachelors Degree in Education with Honours and QTS.  I have to have that to do my job.  I worked hard for it and it is mine!

I am good a lots of things, but not brilliant at any.  I can bake, sew, cook, clean, homemake in general.  I can teach your child to read, give it the confidence to write, and tell you if it is on the Autistic Spectrum.  Oh, and help it if it is.  Mostly.  I can read stories with funny voices.  I can write stories with funny voices.  I can not draw pictures of anything, except Mondrian.

However, I have also been very, very lucky in life.  Those of you who know the backstory may now be going "No, he DIED! This is not lucky!"  You are right.  This is not lucky.  The fact it was quick and painless for him and over without a coma and life supprt, that was lucky.  The fact he was RAF and they loved the boy and I, and took care of us, that was lucky. 

The fact that I have always had a man in my life unless I didn't want one, is also down to luck, cake, and listening to them.  Since I was 17, the longest I have been single for was the 9 months after Rich died.  We had no intention of getting together, and in fact if you'd have asked me 5 minutes before J came over "Are you ready for a relationship?" I'd have said no.  But he came over and the rest is history.  Real rising from the ashes history, leading up to a happy ever after.  Well, a girl can dream.

So should I write a post about how fabulous I am and how men always want me?  Should I bang on about all you need to do is X/Y/Z and you too can have wonderful men in your lives?  Should I moan about how terrible it is to always have men falling at my feet and wanting to be in my life?  Or should I just accept that this is *my* life, and it runs the way *my* life is supposed to, and all is well in my world.  I have tried hard to get where we are today, and it is hard earned.  Your life is yours.  You make your decisions and I make mine.  Am I jealous of anyone for that? No.

Because I know something about poor Samantha Brick.  One day she will wake up to being old, greyhaired, and alone.  There's no mention of children for this pretty woman, and perhaps her narcissistic exterior hides a broken heart for an inablity to procreate.  I know that I am not universally loved, but I'm not universally hated like her.  I might not be gorgeous, but I know what I am, which she doesn't seem to.  I accept myself the way I am, which she clearly cannot.  She is miserable in her percieved beauty (she's not my type, so I couldn't comment!)

For me the bottom line (cute or not) is that there are more important things to worry about than who is talking about me, or why, or what their agenda might be.  Samantha Brick may have had a genuine grievance, and whether it was due to the Daily Mail, to an unfortunate writing style, or to just being so far up her own backside she can't type properly, it came across badly.  Very badly.  About as badly as it could have come across.  Her reaction to it today, which smacks of "Ha, I was right, you all hate me because I am gorgeous!" makes it harder to make allowances for her.  Today makes her look really delusional, really on the way to some kind of breakdown.  Alternatively, it makes her look like she would sell her soul and morals for press coverage.  Neither of those is attractive.

My suggestion? Do some voluntary work, be with people for whom the last thing on their minds is what they look like, be with people who are real victims, not the percieved victim she believes she is.  Look into the eyes of a bereaved child.  Help a victim of domestic abuse clean up for the thousanth time whilst her children cry because they are hungry.  Tell an Althzimers sufferer who you are for the 50th time in a hour, without getting frustrated.  Work with a child with special needs.  Talk to his parents and tell them he will never be like the other children and watch their faces fall as the hope goes.  Get over yourself, and if you can't, at least learn modesty.  Then you'll be liked or disliked for who you are and the things you do, not just the way you look.

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