Monday, February 10, 2014

Safer Internet Day

Tomorrow is Safer Internet Day 2014.

The theme for this year is "Building a better internet together."  I'm leading a whole day of work on this tomorrow at school.  The whole school is doing it.  We are focusing on "Think before you Click"

It's had me thinking about the internet.  This blog is the most open I've been about anything, ever.  The events in this blog have led me to be the most open about anything, ever.

I met the AC's dad on the internet.

I used the internet to bumble through my pregnancy, my newborn days, to share pictures of my son with my family who were miles away.

I blogged through the divorce.  Through my new relationship. Through that second chance of happy.
We used the internet to keep in touch with his daughter, after she was taken away by her mother, thousands of miles away. We blogged to her every week, without fail.  We sent pictures, every week, without fail.  The internet transferred money, every month, without fail.  Her mother kept us in touch with what was going on.  Sometimes we argued, sometimes we didn't.  Life is like that.

And when he died, I blogged out my grief, my despair, my horror at this situation.  I desperately searched for hope, for support, and shared my progress with my family via the internet so that they didn't worry so much.  It was easier than a thousand phonecalls, and meant I could lie better.

When even his ashes were taken away from me, in a final act which betrayed my trust and led me to feeling like I had let down my son, I didn't even tell the internet.  I hoped, in vain, that there would be a change of heart, that there would be some compassion, some consideration for the needs of such a small child.  But no.  That promise was broken, and not by me.  People grieve in different ways.  I know that, and mostly I can accept it, but to deliberately lie to a just-6 yr old, who had lost the man he respected, loved and valued above all, was low, and some days I still struggle.  All will be will soon though.

Real life brought me  a new man, another chance of happy.  The internet let me blog out my feelings, my hopes, and dreams.  Some won't come true (I'm 39, and my chances of being a stay-at-home-mother to five+ gorgeous children are pretty much over lol!) and some more than came true.

The internet has put risks into my sons life (who will ever forget the infamous stripper incident) and allowed me the means to put the protection into the lives of others.  Would I unshare what I have shared?  Not really.  I look back on the blogging from the Dark Days and it helps to remember what I have forgotten - because I forgot so much from that time.

Safer Internet Day is tomorrow.

Be safe people.

No comments: