Sunday, June 28, 2009

Hot, tiredish, but happy. Kinda


Yeah, kinda.

Happy because life is pretty flaming good really. My son is home again (YAAAAAAAAAAAY!), my mum has been on MSN to see how I am, tea was lovely (tho I says it as shouldn't) and I've upped my steps from previous days.


She-Ex has been on the email all night. I don't mind in many ways, as long as she's being polite. It's lots of "You don't understand x or y or z" and I bet we understand more than she thinks, because parenting is parenting. Living is living. Life is life.

Or maybe not. We are vastly different people, with different priorities, values, and foci. That's cool. Mine work for me, hers work for her. (Well I'm guessing they do, or else why have them lol!)

But we are both living the choices that we made. We live each other choices in many ways. We have these weirdly intertwined lives, knotted together like a fishermans net after a storm. It's froody. I make it froody. Otherwise I'd be hating her intrusions into my life, and why would I want to spend so much of my life hating?

Kinda because I miss R. I haven't heard from him properly since Friday night, although I had a text at 3am which usually means signal problems. It's not like I have to have him check in so I know he isn't straying - I love and trust him, and mostly those things are in the minds of the people left at home, not the reality of the people away doing their job. I also know he loves and trusts me, and respects me as a person, and us as a family. I love the security of knowing that. But I miss him.

Kinda because I still have 2 days at home. I can't go back to school until Wednesday, at least. If then. But I'm going to push to go back then. Wednesday is my ppa day anyway, Thursday is an easy day, and Friday is trip, so work wise it's an easy week and would be a good way to ease myself back in.

Most of the kinda is.... well..... I would hesitate to call what I get PMT, because I'm not tense with it lol. For me, that's in the mind. (as is so much stuff!) but I feel big, and I feel heavy, and bleugh.

Yeah. Kinda.

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