.... I am just sitting, just being.
There are things weighing heavy on my heart which I cannot write about yet apparently. Decisions that need to be made, but mostly waiting that needs to be done. How does one do waiting? Each day, I wake up, and it's another day less waiting to do, it's another day closer. I throw myself into the things that need doing, the places that need going to. I get to the end of the day and I know it's another day done.
Another day done.
R and I used to use that phrase when he was just thrown out of his house by the She-Ex. When he lived in a tiny room on camp. Each day was another day done, one that he wouldn't have to do again, one day closer to them getting back together, because he wanted it so much at that time. The distance made him realise what living with her had been like though. He still wanted to go back because of BG, and then when BG was taken away to the States, each day was just another day done. One more day towards not waking up in tears, not going to sleep in tears, one more day towards seeing her again. Had we have realised then how many promises wouldn't be kept when it came to seeing her, those days would have been harder, but we kept believing, kept faith in the She-Ex.
He used to use it to me when the He-Ex was really bad. One more day towards him realising what he's doing. One more day towards him seeing the good things he has in his life. One more day less of the current life to do.
Now there's us together. We cherish every day that we are together. I know there are times when we'll be apart - there's one on the way now - but each day is one more day together, and each day apart is one less to do until he comes home.
There is a phrase in the Anglican prayers that were used at my first camp, which I never really understood until R went away. We prayed for those away on active service, and for those at home, who "watch, wait and pray for their safe return." Obviously I knew what the words meant, but until he was away this time last year, I didn't grok it. And then I did.
Now we wait for information, for pictures, for time, for the holidays, for lots and lots of things.
In due course, when my fingers can work out what to write, I'll let you know what we wait for, amongst the many things.
*hugs* to all.