Not me Monday

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.

Ok, so I know it's Tuesday, but that's ok. You'll see why it's ok.

Last week I did not have a good week all the way to Friday. On Friday, I did not start itching at school, and did not ignore the itch, thinking it was nits, and with great aplomb tell my class that they all needed to check their hair because if I was itching, one of them would have shared with me. I did not then get told by my Teaching Assistant that I had spots. I did not then get her to check my back, and get slightly concerned when she said there were more. She did not say it looked like Chickenpox. I did not laugh at the idea of chickenpox at 34.

I did not climb on the table to fix my projector in front of my class, and step down from the table to hear a ripping noise from my behind. (No, not that kind of ripping noise, the material kind!) I did not then stand, with my back against a wall, taking off my jumper and tying it around my waist and telling one of my darlings that yes, I did have my jumper around my waist but I was the Queen and I could if I wanted to.

I did not then have to walk from the back of the hall to the front in assembly to give out certificates with my jumper around my waist so that no one could see my knickers through the rip in my trousers that went from the middle of the back of the trouser leg (we're talking just under bum cheek) to the inside seam. I did not ignore the Deputy Head Teacher's pointed looks at my jumper being around my waist.

I did not go to the pharmacist on the way home (with my jumper around my waist because of the ripped trouser thing, take my shirt off in front of a complete stranger (the pharmacist!) and laughingly get him to check what they were, and then laugh some more when he told me that they were chickenpox.

I did not phone the doctor and go to her, to be told that it was chicken pox and I should stay home. We did not laugh together about how ridiculous it was, and then talk about nits (which I really do not have!) I did not then take the cat to the vet in sheer denial. I did not scratch my spots.

On Saturday, I did not ignore Doctors Instructions and go to town to get Fathers Day gifts from the AC to R, BG to R, AC to He-Ex. I did not need to have a list with me because my head was thumping. I did not scratch my spots.

On Sunday I did not inwardly cuss a lot about the She-Ex and her attitude. I did not scratch my spots. I did not think that this was the LAST time I ever do this for her. I did not go back over a thousand years of emails to find I've said this every year. I would not be such a mug as to let a person continually walk over me because I love their daughter and I love and live with their ex-husband. Or husband because there is *still* no divorce. I did not scratch my spots.

On Monday I did not feel disappointed that there was no thankyou email from the BG. I did not sit around all day being miserable and bored and writing reports and then having to rewrite them because it was obvious I was misreable when I wrote them and actually, those children aren't that bad. Ok, well, one of them is. I did not go to see the nurse to be told that I have to have until THURSDAY at LEAST off of school. I did not winge about missing 1) the school show, 2) my SENCO course, 3) the swimming gala, because I am a grown up and I would have accepted these things with gentleness and joy. Really. I did not scratch my spots.

And there we are.

I am

spotty
snotty
coughing
cursing
grumpy
growling
and generally ticked off.

But still finding it all funny. As my late grandfather would say "You'd laugh if your behind was on fire!"

You have been warned lol!