Vague day

I feel slightly vague today.

I'm hanging on until 8am when I can phone the AC and wish him a Happy Birthday. He stayed at his father's house last night, as he always does on a Friday, and so this morning at 3.07 I was not sat in his room, watching him sleep as the minute of his birth ticked over. I didn't write in his book. I lay in my bed, next to the man I love, knowing that even without this man next to me, the AC would not be here. It wasn't R's fault, it was the He-Ex, who wanted out from the moment he realised that children were forever and were hard work.

So the AC is spending his birthday day at his fathers. He will be back here at 5pm instead of 6 so that we can have some awake time of his birthday with him. Next week will be his party on the Sunday. I can talk to R about this if I wanted to, but I don't, because it seems so petty compared to what he goes through on a daily basis, let alone birthdays and Christmases. Last year at this time, I had dates in my diary for the BG to come over. There was hotel space booked for her, and a place at my sister's wedding. There was plans. This year, there is nothing.

Enough misery I say!

I am going to mark, and then enter results, then we have shopping to do, and life will be lovely, because I *say* it will be.