Monday, July 20, 2009


I just phoned his phone.

On purpose.

Knowing he wouldn't answer, just so I could hear his voice. I needed to. I will always need to hear him, to know him, to love him.

At the moment, everyone is saying they miss him, and they can't imagine what will happen without him.

No one else expected him to be lying beside them when they woke up.
No one else is expecting the door to bang open onto the wall as he staggers through with his bag and some random flowers for me.
No one else is expecting to be in the middle of their shower and hear him say "I see boooooobies!" or what happens next.
No one else is expecting him to be asking the AC to get on with getting his socks on or R will get them on for him, and the banter that ensued.
No one else is expecting to turn around, and just see him sat at the table behind them, or feel his hand wander over their shoulders as he walks past.
No one else is getting him a cup automatically, or hearing his voice in their head saying "Any chance of a cup of tea my gorgeous darling?"

No one else is expecting any of the million other tiny things that are happening.

I knew what I had before it was gone, and for that I will always think I am so incredibly lucky.

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