... til it's gone.
And I don't mean Rich and I, we knew what we had lol.
I mean the He-Ex, who is now on his third lecherous text this week. Maybe it's just oversensitive on my part (although I think not, I know this man's modus operandi!) but really, texting your bereaved ex-wife to say she looked lovely in her top and he appreciated the view is just not on.
If it was so great, why go looking elsewhere on the internet when we were married?
It was one of the things that got Rich and I together though - the fact we shared the same problem with our Ex's, so I suppose it was good in one way lol.
Anyway, it's bedtime.
I've just been texting with a chap I know, very lovely bloke, very supportive, and I was just thinking about all the times that all Rich and I had was text. It's amazing what you can say and send in a text. He used to text me when he left work, even if it was just "omw!" so I knew when to expect him. He used to text to say he loved me, or that he missed me. I used to text him pictures of my underwear in the morning so he knew what I was wearing when he was away lol. It started his day with a smile!
I went to text him whilst we were at Carolines, and of course, I realised that he would never get that text. That broke me all over again for a little while.
But it was ok, and I got through that bit, and that's what I'll keep doing, just getting through it, slowly, but surely. AC is camping with his father and I miss him, but more than me missing him I want him to know his father in the same way he knew his stepdaddy, I want him to spend time with his father in the way the BG was prevented from doing, and now never will. I want that, more than I want the AC home.
And I want Rich home more than anything, but I know it isn't going to happen.
I also know he loves me though, and that is worth the world. At least we knew what we had, and it wasn't wasted.