Sunday, September 13, 2009



A clean bathroom
an outline plan
2 big batches of banana bread - of which 3 buns are left.
a cleaner kitchen
a tidy front room
a sleeping child
a well fed friend

Life could be worse.

It was for a while. I had one of the times when I couldn't stop crying earlier. The AC wanted on to WoW, and Charlie logged him on as Rich. When I saw Rich's character running around, I started and I couldn't stop. Obviously most of it was kept away from the AC, but he knew I cried, and he cuddled me, and got me a towel - he says tissues make my face red. :-)

I miss him.

Right now, we should be clearing the table, and heading up to bed. Sometimes he sent me up, and cleared up for me, if I was really tired. I should have been sat on the sofa with him, watching King Arthur, watching Blink, and snuggled up to him.

At the very least, it should be him who just texted me to say good night and see how I was.

He always did it, if he could. And when he was here, he always whispered "Goodnight my darling" or Goodnight sweetheart", even if he thought I was asleep. He loves me with a love unparalleled in this universe. He told me he had never loved so completely before. That he had never felt so loved before.

Oh he went at the top of his game alright. And that's how it should be, if he had to go. Rather that than in a coma, or slowly of dementia or Parkinsons or some other debilitating disease. There will be no growing old and fat for him, no arthritis, no nothing. And as the boy said, as his first thoughts "He can see BG whenever he wants to now."

That has to be a good thing.

So I also achieve going to bed with a vague smile, even though I have an aching heart.

1 comment:

Chef Penny said...

Sarah, so sorry that it was a tough day. The AC is so adorable to bring you a towel. He has a caring heart and Rich would be proud of both of you! (((((hugs))))) all the way from too hot Florida USA