So now?

Now what do I do?

The AC is going to have to go to the chest clinic, potentially for an inhaler to be used when he has one of these coughing jags. The doctor was really apologetic and upset that she hadn't realised Rich was our man, and that the surgery hadn't offered bereavement counselling. I'm to make appointments for AC and I, and we'll see what happens.

There was talk of a referral to the local play therapy place, which would be good and allow him to work through his feelings. I don't want him just left, just because I'm too caught up in my emotions to help him. There is no stigma in getting the best help for your child, in being honest with them about that help, and in getting off your bum to get it done.

I'm exhausted though tonight. The AC really isn't coping sometimes now, and the reality of this horrible situation is really setting in for he and I, but him mainly. Everyone else has gone back to their normal lives, as they should do. We can't. Our normal is gone.

But we are making a new normal, and it will be fine.