Thursday, October 1, 2009

At peace?

I've had another lovely email from one of the Random Aunts.

It would appear that none of the ones I've spoken to as yet approve of the behaviour of certain people following the Celebration, and that knocks massive holes in the ideas and arguments that were presented as justification for the actions he took.

And yes, I know I'm being obtuse. I have to be probably, although to be honest, can I be hurt any more? I doubt it.

I had post today for Rich. I phoned them. It's a bill. I told them the situation, and I expect it'll end up with the She-Ex. She's claiming next of kin, so there is nothing I can do about it, except that. It's not pleasant, but it's the legal thing. I've still not heard from her about what "things" she wants for BG, aside from the fact she wants "things" so as I had decided that the end of September was the deadline, that's passed now, so..... I'll choose. I can't see what else I can do.

It's peaceful to have come to that decision though. I accept the situation as it stands today, and that's a nice feeling. I know that no one can touch the house, me, AC, the things in the house, anything. I am the Queen of my Castle, and I choose who enters my domain. That's cool.

I have a list of things that are to be dumped into SEP fields, like that bill from earlier.

I have letters prepared, and it will all be fine.

He promised me that it would all be fine, and I believe him. Each night I go to bed, and my heart aches. I send my goodnight texts to the people that it has become habit to send them to. We establish what kind of day it has been, and on a hard day I phone someone in my support network, otherwise known as Proper Friends, and we chat.

I'm so lucky. I have friends who can see past my grief, and remember the person I was before this, and who talk to me like I was that person. We chat about their kids, their husbands, their boyfriends (no-one has both!) their home lives, their jobs, their worlds, just like we always did. I've grown closer to some friends, which is amazingly lovely. I have friends who I have been there for in the past, through thick and thin, and here they are, standing for me, through thick, and thin.

I think, that is some of the reason why I can be at peace. I have such love surrounding me, from friends, family, church, and of course, the amazing love of God, who holds Rich, our babies, and our eternal future safely until I get there and can be part of it.

Lots of peace, less pieces.

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