Friday, January 8, 2010

It's a Friday again...

.... another one.

They keep coming, these Fridays.  25 of them now.  25 Friday nights.

Friday nights are worse than other nights.  They were our nights.  They were nights when we didn't think about other people, except us, and phoning the BG at the end of the night.  They were cinema nights, dining out nights, staying in together nights, eating chinese nights, cuddling nights, snuggling nights, playing nights.  They were nights when the AC was at his fathers, and so we were able to do what everyone told us we should, and take time out from being parents for the night. 

Well, we never managed it to the extent that some parents are able to.  That's ok, it's fine for them, it's fine for us.  Different people parent different ways, but Friday nights were amazing for us.  We loved them.

Friday nights now are ok.  They are what they are.  Tonight I shall sew and clean and do what I usually do on a Friday night, although less of it because I've spent the day at home with the AC as school was shut for a Snow Day.  We've cleaned and played and cooked and done things together.  We've discussed momentum and snow physics and all kinds of things.  It's made me realised all over again just how much I want to homeschool.  I can't, I can't afford to, and it wouldn't be fair to him now to just pull him out, although he's not as happy as he could be.  We can work on that though - he is what we make him.  Rich has done a fine job so far of turning him into a loving and well behaved young man, and I get to finish the task.  And I will, and he will be gorgeous, because he has a loving family, and a huge extended family and friends, and the world will look out for that child, because they know that's what he deserves. 

It's funny how it always ends up being about Rich and the AC.  Really, it is.

Or is it?  After all, they are what my life should be about.  They are where my focus should be.  I'm a good wife, and a good mother, even if Rich and I never married on paper.

Ah well.  It doesn't suit everyone, but it suits me, it suits the AC, and it suited Rich.  I like life not being all about me. 

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