Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Red bricks and blue skies.

Way to go AC! I bet you were so proud! As for the rest, take care of you first and say a long prayer before you open any of them! If you decide to wait, then so be it! (((((hugs))))))

I got the above comment from Chef Penny this morning, and it has reaffirmed that this current course of action is the right one for the AC and I.  I doubt that there is anything I can do for the BG now, and for her mother, very little has changed except she can now raise the BG in her own manner, without what she termed "interference" from Rich.  Financially, her mother is better off without Rich, (although not as well off as she would have been if they had have got divorced - oh the irony lol!) and so there is nothing more to say on the subject.

But I was stood just now, looking out of the window, at the first sunny morning, where the blue sky comes against the red bricks of Next Door, and it was just how things were the day before he died, except today there are no strong arms to encircle me, no dreams to hold.

For some reason, it reminded me of the day I told him we were going to have a baby, that I was pregnant.  I still remember the smile that roamed across his face, the laughter, the joy he had, the love he had for the little dot of life within me.  We agreed we wouldn't put it on here, because who knew what the She-Ex would do.  When we lost the child, days later, he held me as I cried, and I know he cried with me.  We tried again, and he told me before I told him! Again he was excited and hopeful, but we were tempered with fear.  We were right to be.

He never knew about the third time.

School.

No more of this.

School.

1 comment:

Chef Penny said...

No more of this!!!! On to the happy thoughts! You are so brave! Have a cup of tea for me and some cake too. Lots and lots of (((((hugs)))). Do something fun with AC too! Think happy thoughts! I'm sending them all the way from FLorida!