.... mainly miss.
There are things going on in my life that make me smile. There are things going on that make me realise life is worth living, and that I can do more than just exist. It's like coming from Kansas to Oz, from outside the gates and into the Chocolate Factory. Suddenly life is in technicolour and is marvellous.
I've met someone.
And he's woken up my dormant self, and I am happy again.
Some women are proud of the fact they don't need a man to be happy. I'm proud of the fact that I know me, and that I put my son's needs first, and that this is a good man for both of us, that I'm not afraid to try again, not going to cower behind my grief and not face the world. It's someone Rich knew, and liked very much. It's someone who has stories to tell the AC when he cries for Rich, stories I don't know. Someone the AC turns to for help, because boy-children need a man to show them how to grow.
So there we go.
I'm a happy bunny.
However, (and the new man knows this) it doesn't mean I don't love Rich, it doesn't mean I stopped missing him, or that his death doesn't hurt like merry hell, still. It means I have to get up, face the world, and I'm coming out fighting.
Fighting for all that is the AC's and mine.
That "Happy Ever After " thing? I'm claiming it. It's ours.