Friday, July 16, 2010

52 weeks today

This time last year.

Is it today?  I think so.
Is it tomorrow, on the calendar date? I think so.
Is it Sunday on Year and a Day?  I think so.
Is it next Friday, which is end of term?  I think so.

All of them are days without Rich.  All of them are going to be..... whatever they are going to be.

What I know, is that this time last year, he was in bed, snoring, and warm and gorgeous.  Today, Jack is in bed, and warm and gorgeous and snoring.  It's not better, it's not worse, it's different.

Today, I need today to be different to last year.  I have an irrational need to ask Jack to text me when he gets to work, to call him at lunchtime, to wait by the door for him to come home.  I need that.  Today is new children in the classroom, is Denises's leaving do, is the world carrying on rolling without Rich in it, without the one person who has ever truly, completely, understood me.  I know my Besterest Friend and my Soul Friend read this, but Ladies, Rich reached places that a lady could never reach ;-)  and I know you know what I mean.  and I know that I've lowered the tone, but dammit, it's my tone and I'll lower it if I want to!

Anyway.

Shower.

yeah.

Laters people.  There will be a laters.

1 comment:

Chef Penny said...

You'll make it through this day like all others with God's help. (((((hugs)))))