There is a peaceful calmness that has come over me since yesterday.
Lilly did not induce in me a "Why not me?" and this is a good thing. She gave me a "This would be nice." but without the tinge of faint despair that has touched every baby I've seen since I lost. I like that. R likes it. He knows I cry at certain times of the year, some nights, and he holds me and makes it better the only way he knows how, by loving me. He doesn't give me pointless platitudes, or sentences designed to fill the silence, he just wraps himself around me, holds me, and loves me without words or movement.
I am blessed.
And she is gorgeous.