Monday, June 15, 2009

To send, or not to send?

I have a list of words in front of me, ready to send to the BG.

Am I wasting my time? Part of me says, no, you aren't. Nothing that is ever done for that little girl is wasting your time. Part of me says, yes, you are. She isn't doing the work, and sending more advanced work (which this would lead into) will stress her if the She-Ex suddenly decides to do it.

If I don't send it, then the She-Ex will scream that we don't care, we haven't tried to help, and so on.
If I do send it, then the She-Ex will either ignore it, or tell me that I am expecting too much of her time, that BG hasn't done last weeks work for x,y,z reasons, or that they have been doing it and writing sentences in horse manure. (Words I could believe, but a whole sentence? C'mon! That's one untidy muck heap if it spreads that long!)

We blogged to her yesterday, and talked long and hard between us about what to say to her about coming over there. BG was asking yesterday on the phone, and seems to either be under the impression that we live nearer, or that we have FTL drives. As we don't have FTL, it must be the former. She got upset. Her mother told R off for making her upset, as thought R would start a conversation about coming to see his daughter, the one we haven't seen since she was taken away in what will be 4 years September, just to tell her we weren't able to come! Who would do that to a child? Not us.

Then we had an email from the She-Ex about it all, actually apologising for having a go.

R and I had already talked, and I added something in the blog which I hope will try and explain to that precious child.

Sweetheart, I know you asked Daddy about him coming over this week, and we need you to know that it will be a long, long time before we can come over to see you. It is a very very long journey, because you are so many, many miles away from us, over an enormous ocean. Because it is so far away, it is lots of money to get to you, because it takes a lot of fuel to make an aeroplane go in the air. It is lots and lots of money for Daddy and me and AC to come over, stay in a hotel, hire a car and do all the little things like eat in restaurants with you. We just don't have lots and lots of money right now. One day we will do, and as soon as we do we will be on a plane to see you, but it will be a long, long time.

It doesn't mean we don't love you, Daddy has loved you since before you were even born, and we have loved you more and more since you went to live all those miles away. We wonder what you are doing, and we wish we were closer so we could know all the little things that make you smile. But we aren't, and so we have to make the best of it, and so we blog you lots of pictures of the things that we do so that you know what our life is like, and maybe one day you'll be able to come over here and see that for yourself.

We love you BG never ever forget it or doubt it.

Anyone else got any ideas of any other way to explain it? She's 7, she should understand by now. Periodically this comes up, but it's hard on R, and it's harder on BG. I don't know about the She-Ex, but it's difficult for AC and I.

I can't tell her that we like reading what she's doing, or we know her life, or anything like that, because we don't. We have no real idea what she does, especially now she isn't at school and there isn't a teacher with professional sense.

Oh well.

Time to weigh in on WiiFit.

Not send at the moment.

I'll ask R.

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