Back to school tomorrow.

For one day.

Then London (tickets bought, clothes sorted, all ready to go!)

Then school on Monday as usual.

I'm tired, I ache, and I want Rich. I want to be enfolded in his arms, and feel the love he has for me settle over me like a blanket. I want to lie with my head on his chest and listen to the rain on the window whilst he strokes my shoulder as he dozes off.

I want him to tell me the new school year will be ok, that I always feel like this and it is always ok. And that he's proud of me, and he loves me.

I know I can do this without him - after all, I'm a big girl now with my own house and child lol - but I want him to share it with.

He was supposed to be with me forever, sharing everything. I know he is, in his own way, because he said he would wait for me, and he will, but tonight, tonight I could really do with his physical presence.

Indeed I could.