1. My ex is
a playful father, but a lousy husband. That's ok!
2. I should learn to
say "No, I'm a bit busy at the moment."
3. I love
AC and Rich, BG, my family, teaching, icecream, cheese, ANTM, autumn mornings. And a lot of other things.
4. People would say that I am
optimistic. I hope. They did say lots of other stuff. Scroll down my page somewhere.
5. I don't understand
why then was the time, but I accept that it was. Mostly.
6. When I wake up in the morning
I go the loo, feed the cat, put the tumbler on, feed the pig, sit down here and think.
7. I lost
the better part of my life, the man my son loves, and the best and most purposeful relationship I had ever had.
8. Life is
too short to match socks.
9. My past taught me
that now is the time, that forgiveness is vital to a happy life, that children come first, above Everything, and that God has a plan.
10. I get annoyed when
people make assumptions about my class based on stupid tracking date held by stupid computers and make asinine predictions for them with no regard for them as individuals.
11. Parties
are something that happens here every Saturday night!
12. I wish
oh man, I wish so many, many things. Mostly, that this situation right now would change. And it is, slowly, but not in the way I want.
13. Dogs and cats
are a responsibility and not something to be abandoned, given away, used to punish children with and so on. You chose to have it? You train it and look after it and get it neutered.
14. My childhood pet
was Imogen, the Rotund Cat, and Helio Begarlis, the skinny tom.
15. Tomorrow is
Friday already. Treat time for the boy. And 12 weeks.
16. I have a low tolerance for
the She-Ex suddenly displaying her emotions for him, people using children to punish other people, and the cat sticking his claws in my leg repeatedly.
17. If I had a million dollars
I'd go and see BG, and take her a couple of things of her Daddy's, and set her up a college fund, and generally look after her the way Rich wanted to.
18. I'm terrified of
nothing now!
19. I've come to realize
that it is ok to not know what happens next, that emotions are a variable thing, and that whilst it's easy, it's not right to hold grudges against people who are emotionally and morally stunted.
20. I am listening to
the tumbledrier, the cat, the guinea-pig.
21. I talk
because if I didn't, I'd be a rubbish mother and teacher.
22. My good friends
have really come through for me in the last 12 weeks.
23. My first kiss
was nothing compared to the first time I kissed Rich, outside, in the middle of a thunderstorm.
24. Love is
marvellous, but takes work.
25. Marriage is
paper. Important paper, and not something to be used to punish others with, but still paper.
26. Somewhere, someone is thinking
time to get up.
27. I'll always be
me, as hard as I can be, having a Smokey Robinson moment.
28. The last time I really cried was
leaked slightly in assembly yesterday, randomly, but really cried on Tuesday. Cow noises and everything.
29. My cell phone is
one of my main methods of communication. It has internet and all sorts.
30. Before I go to bed
I think about Rich, say goodnight to him, check the child, and think.
31. My middle name
is Margaret
32. Right now, I am thinking
I need a shower.
33. Today I
teach Numeracy, Literacy, Art, swimming and spanish.
34. Tomorrow I will be
who knows? Nothing is for certain.
35. I really want to
cry.
36. The person most likely to re-post this is
someone with time on their hands
37. The person least likely to re-post this is
someone with less time!
38. My relationship with my grandparents
has always been interesting, but mainly I wish we were closer.
39. My most treasured possession is
sewing machine? Rocking goat? I don't know really. Stuff is, just stuff.
40. My favorite pictures
are of Rich and AC together - playing lightsabers, pulling faces, but my absolute favourite is the one of AC looking up at Rich, so adoringly, and Rich looking down at AC. I defy anyone to tell me their emotions didn't matter after seeing *that* picture.
41. I sing
all the time, but out of tune.
42. If I were a crayon
I'd be purple, and I'd be EVERYWHERE!
43. Someday I want to travel to
wherever Rich is now.
44. I am wearing
his dressing gown.
45. My favorite class this semester
P.E.
46. My favorite language is
English - it's the only one I speak.
47. It hurts
when I think about all the things we should have done together, that I don't know properly where he is, that I won't see BG growing up, that AC has lost the man he wanted to be.
48. I'm going to miss
talking to him in the middle of the night, about everything.
49. My profile picture is
AC on the stairs, being an opera singer.
50. I need
a hug.
1 comment:
*sigh* so much sadness, so much joy, so much acceptance, so much strength.
Yes, about the socks. ;)
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