Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Thinking done

I've done a lot of thinking over the last few days.

These are the things I've decided.

The quilt is fine. It'll be like a medallion quilt with the centre block and then strips around the outside.

The house is fine. Things are being done slowly. And that's the best way. After all, he's going to be gone for a long time, and I'm in no hurry to move someone else in lol!

I'm fine. Yes, there are a few issues, and we'll get those dealt with asap. Bank visit went very well, everything there is dealt with, mortgage people on next Tuesday, and that will just about wrap everything up as far as the house goes. Dr's next week. I'm fine.

AC is fine-er. He has had a better week thus far this week. Admittedly, he was curled up with Rich's bike helmet (the spare one, don't worry, the other is still in my shed.) but he was happy, he was playing with it, he was sat reading "Bike" magazine the other day - and properly reading it as well - so I think we can say he is getting over the bike thing that he had for a while.

The animals are all fine. That's a good thing.

My friends are fine, and they understand that I am fine with them being fine, that yes, of course they have moved on, they are supposed to, their everyday lives haven't changed. It's the same for everyone else, except AC, BG and me. We are the only ones whose everyday lives are upside down, and I would hope that by now the BG's life is the right way up.

I'm starting to slowly pass things on that were Rich's things. I can't keep everything, and that's ok.

I have a choice though. I can wallow in this grief, eating myself stupid and getting fat and obnoxious and neglecting my child, or I can pick us up, shake us down, and get onto the next part of our lives.

We'll get there, the child and I.

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