Thursday, February 4, 2010

Family

Today is six months since the trauma of the time began.

Six months ago, Rich was stolen from me, taken from where he was, and whisked away so that I couldn't complete what had to be done for him.  It was done secretly, and with determination that I should not see him again.  I had asked, and been told, that whatever happened, I-t-B and I were in this together, and that whatever I wanted to happen would happen.

Lies are a terrible thing.

I didn't write about it at the time, because there was no point, it was so raw.  I couldn't believe that someone would be so heartless, so completely selfcentred, so utterly ignorant (in all senses of the word) about their own brothers beliefs, that he would do this.

But he did.

I can forgive him in many ways, because he is a mixed up child, and allowances should be made.  He was having a traumatic time, and this things make a person blinkered and selfish at those times.  He was given many chances to sort it out though, to make it better.  He chose to spirit Rich away, take him, and lock him in a house whilst he went on holiday for a while to get over the stress.  He didn't want to leave Rich with me because he "didn't know what I'd do." 

I would have respected Rich's wishes.
I would have respected his family wishes.
I would have respected my sons needs.

That's what I would have done.

We would have sat our vigil, and then handed Rich over at the right time to his brother, when we would all have gone to the scattering.

More on *that* later.

People, don't depend on family to do the right thing by your loved ones.  And family and loved ones are not always the same thing.

1 comment:

Chef Penny said...

((((Hugs))))) I know that was a difficult time for you that was made all the worse but his blockheadedness. You are correct that family and loved ones are not the same. But rest easy knowing that you have made both Rich and God proud of the choices you have made.