Sunday, June 21, 2009

Fathers Day

Fathers Day was wonderful. Amazingly wonderful.

This morning AC made a card for R, cutting and sticking his writing into the right places. I didn't send a scan of it to BG as hers still hasn't shown. That would just have been unkind. Once the card was made it went under the AC's bed to dry.

AC and I snuggled on the sofa, vegging out a bit and watching some tv, and playing Worms. In the end I had to get going, so I folded the notices. R came down and offered to take us, but I needed the walk so we walked up, AC ran in, gave the notices in, and we walked back, playing "I Spy" and "Only Walk on....." and so on. However, when we got back I was exhausted. R went to Tesco and did a few bits, coming back with pizza for lunch. He said that on the grounds that it was Father's Day, he was choosing pizza for lunch!

Then it was Grand Prix, and a good one at that. Having said that, I slept through a lot of it because I was just so damn tired. I had 3 hours sleep last night, partly pain, partly itching, partly worrying about Fathers Day, but anyway, it was all good. AC and R played a lot this afternoon, mainly lightsabers, and then AC showed R some of his martial arts forms, which R knew from when he did a similar sport, and so they did some training on improving his forms and the crispness of his moves. It was lovely to watch them being together.

AC spent 20 minutes on the phone to his father, chatting about Fathers Day and life and toys and stuff. They only saw each other yesterday, and they'll see each other on Tuesday, but they love to talk and I have to work hard to facilitate that, because that's my job, as the mother. I have to be responsible for their relationship, and bite my tongue at times. But today, AC was happy and his Daddy was really happy. I had a text to thank me for making today such a nice day for him. It's nice to be thanked.

We had crumpets for tea, and AC gave R his present, because we realised that if the She-Ex phoned when they said they would, AC would be in bed and not able to give his present to R. So we gave it earlier than planned, but to be fair, AC had hung on all day to give his present, so he didn't mind. And he did decide to leave the other presents in the cupboard, even though the big mug was from him and BG, because it mattered to him, but he understood the situation with BG and R, and to some extent the She-Ex, although we don't talk her down in front of him, so he was happy for BG to give both the presents. I loved him so much at that point, for being the kind, caring, loving child that he is. For putting the needs of a child who ghosts through our lives, before his own desires.

In the end though, the She-Ex phoned early, and all the presents were opened, all the love was shared, and everyone was happy. The blog is done, and now this blog is done, and I might head to bed soon.

R and I have talked a lot today, and a lot more since Friday's appointment. He is supportive and caring, and understanding, and I love him. He made me think of something that my mother said to me once.

"Any man can be a father, it takes someone special to be a Daddy."

He is a wonderful Daddy, to BG, and to AC.

And if other people don't like it, then they will have to learn to. It isn't stopping.

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